BRETT: As so many of you know, Rush loved to have fun and laugh. He had one of the best senses of humor I’ve ever been around. He always said, “All good comedy has an element of truth to it,” and for today’s EIB High Note, we thought we’d bring you some of his unique ways of describing people like only he could.
RUSH: One of the techniques that I have employed over the years is to paint pictures. Radio has no TV, obviously. No screens. So the host paints the picture; the audience envisions the picture in their own mind. That’s why radio, by the way, can be the most intimate of all media. Done right, radio can have much more intimacy and much more impact than television, because it’ll all be active participation rather than passive. A little montage here of 2-1/2 minutes of how I employ this technique.
RUSH MONTAGE: Have you ever, by the way, heard of a better name for a CEO of an oil company? Rex Tillerson! And he looks like a Rex Tillerson. … John Kerry looks like Lurch from the Addams Family. …
The Pajama Boy, Ossoff. …
My security guy, Joseph Stalin. … That Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak? He looks like Alfred E. Neuman with a hundred more pounds. … If I occasionally slip up and call Scaramucci “Tom Hagen,” it’s on purpose. …
Chris Cuomo, Fredo, of the Cuomo family. …
This Jim Acosta guy? Have you ever had a cat, a pet cat, and get one of these red laser pointers? …
Norah O’Donnell, her bathwater can’t possibly stink. …
John Edwards, the Breck Girl. …
That is a pretty good comparison: Tom Daschle to Eddie Haskell. … I saw Ichabod Crane on TV this morning, Austan Goolsbee. You know, one bald guy looks like every other bald guy to me.
Algore. The guy’s starting to look more and more look Rodney Dangerfield. It’s uncanny! …
Rod “Blago” Blagojevich, who looks like a Cabbage Patch doll. …
Andrew Napolitano, the adult Eddie Munster. …
Tariq Aziz, one of Saddam’s henchmen, looks like Felix the Cat. … Kuchar is a great guy. He’s got Joker-like cheekbones. …
Neil Gorsuch, the man really is Jimmy Stewart. …
Martin Savidge, CNN lifer. He looks just like the Ken doll. … John Roberts, cookie-cutter anchor. … James Carville, Serpent Head. … Dana Perino, she’s got this piano teacher look in her eyes, waiting for a mistake. … Debbie “Blabbermouth” Schultz, she’s doing something to her hair. Looks like mayonnaise. …
Wolf Blitzer, who, if it weren’t for his varicose veins, would be totally colorless! … I’m sitting here watching Hillary. Is it just me, or is she starting to look more and more like Mao Tse-tung? Hillary Clinton as Nurse Ratched, the nurse — the evil, bullying, mean-spirited nurse — from the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. … Sounds like your ex-wife screaming at you.
RUSH: So those are some examples.
BRETT: You can see the visuals over at RushLimbaugh.com. So, if you go over to RushLimbaugh.com, you can see these examples that we have laid out for you — that Rush laid out for you on the different nicknames and descriptors — of those people. (laughing) Sorry, I’m laughing, ’cause those are like the funniest things I’ve heard in years all put together. It’s really awesome. Go to RushLimbaugh.com. Some of the pictures are just spectacular. They’re all spectacular. Just go check it out and show your friends. Make it go viral.
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