RUSH: Remember the story…? I guess it was on Friday that we shared with you the new COVID-19 testing technique that had been employed by the ChiComs, and the ChiCom technique involves anal swabbing. Now, very many people are very upset over the nasal swab ’cause it goes way, way up there in the nasal cavity. I’ve had a bunch of those, and it’s not pleasant.

It doesn’t last long. You just have to close your eyes and it’s just a couple of seconds and that’s it — five seconds at most, unless they’re toying with you. You gotta make sure you’ve got an examiner who doesn’t hate you. I always have to keep a sharp eye for those kinds of things. You get an examiner who keeps that swab up there for 20 seconds, that could be bad.

It hasn’t happened, but I have to be vigilant on things like that. Most of them love me. But you never know; there’s gonna be the oddball case. Imagine you are a citizen of China and you’re told, “Hey, there’s a new way here of testing for COVID-19, and it involves anal swabbing. So many of you are complaining about the nasal that we thought you’d prefer the anus.”

Well, there’s an update on story, and it’s from the U.K. Daily Mail. Let me just read it to you: “Chinese authorities have labelled a viral video ‘fake’ after it purportedly showed [Chinese citizens] walking ‘like penguins’ following an anal swab to test for” COVID-19. ChiCom officials assured ChiCom “citizens that they would not waddle like [penguins] after undergoing the medical procedure, which is being used in [China] to screen COVID-19 cases.

“No official explanation was given as to why people were filmed walking in the awkward manner.” But they’re the Chinese. Just like the American left, they can lie however they want, and there’s nobody to call ’em on it. So if the ChiCom government says, “You don’t know what you’re seeing. You are not seeing what you’re seeing. You’re not seeing people waddle around like penguins,” it isn’t gonna happen.

“China’s quarantine centers have started to use anal swabs to test ‘key people’…” Oh, so that’s how they’re doing it. They’re telling people getting the anal swab that they’re important, rather than a bunch of stooges. For crying out loud, that’s how they’re doing it. I wondered how in the world…? I mean, if you had the choice, what would you do?

Would you choose the rectum, or would you choose the nasal cavity? (interruption) Yeah, you’d go nasal every time. Not because you might think you might walk like a penguin but just because, what the hell? That’s not supposed to happen. You don’t believe this. If you’re a ChiCom citizen, though, you never know.

So they’ve told people getting the anal swab that they are important, that they are key to the country’s future. “Some experts believe that the method is” here we go “much more accurate than a nasal or throat swab and can raise the chances of detection.” Well, so not only are you gonna get this if you are important, but it’s a better test to boot. So there you have it.