RUSH: To the best and the worst jobs. Number 10 best job list, speech pathologist. How many of you out there planning your futures right now, how many of you parents, little Johnny, little Susie running around the house, eight, nine years old, “Little Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“Mommy, Mommy, I want to be a speech pathologist. I can’t wait.”

“Really? Speech? Good choice. That’s a great job, Little John.” How many people are aiming at that? Here’s number nine. Occupational therapist. What is that? I mean I think I know, but what is an occupational therapist? Is this somebody that does therapy while somebody’s an occupation? Like when ISIS is occupying Iraq, do they need therapy? You’re an occupational therapist so you provide therapy to occupying military. That’s not what it is?

Okay, so occupational therapist so you’re a therapist to somebody who’s in an occupation, which is a job. You’re a therapist of somebody on the job maybe not getting along with the boss. That’s not what it is. What is an occupational therapist, then? Somebody tell me. (interruption) Oh! Oh, they help you find a job after 99 weeks of unemployment. Oh, you might have been disabled in a car crash or whatever, a victim of Trump’s election, what it is. Oh, I see, silly me. This is a therapist.

See, this is where you go in and you tell them your problems and they tell you, yes, you’re crazy or, no, you’re not crazy, but you can get better. That was confusing. Therapist is the wrong word. Consultant. Occupational consultant, occupational. But therapist? Okay, well, moving on. Software engineer. That’s number eight. Mathematician, number seven. And tenured university professor is number six. Data scientist came in at number five. These are top jobs in America. Data scientist, number five.

Information security analyst. Anybody want to take a stab at what that is? Like if I were to say one of the jobs is vision control coordinator, what do you think the job is? Vision control coordinator. It’s a window washer. Combustible fluids transportation engineer. What’s that? Combustible fluids transportation engineer. Nope. It’s a guy working the gas pumps at your gas station.

So where’d I leave off here? Information security analyst. Somebody that prevents your computer network from being hacked. Information security analyst. But what’s the difference between data security analyst? Moving on, operations research analyst. Operations research. These are the top jobs according to some outfit, some website, CareerCast. Medical services manager. Medical services manager, number two. That’s a nurse, right, medical services manager? You don’t think that describes nurse? Well, what does medical services mean? It’s not a doctor. What is medical services manager? We talking IT here, we talking computers, people that run the hospital IT? Receptionist? Medical services manager.

And the top job in America, according to this list, statistician. Now you want to hear the bottom, the worst jobs? Taxi driver ranks number 10. Retail salesperson at number nine. Firefighter is number eight. Ad salesperson number seven. Disc jockey number six. Keep going here. Disc jockey number six, worst jobs. Number five, pest control coordinator. Number four, enlisted military personnel.

Some outfit called CareerCast. Logger is number three. Broadcaster is the second worst job of the year. Newspaper reporter takes the top spot. Newspaper reporter, the worst job you can get. Broadcaster the second worst job, according to CareerCast, and the best job that you can get out there is a statistician. People are gonna read this, they’re gonna believe it. Does this not present a very jaundiced view of jobs in America and their quality?

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Mike in Waverly, Nebraska, he’s in a truck. Great to have you on the program, Mike. How you doing?

CALLER: Oh, good afternoon. I’m getting snowed on right now.

RUSH: No kidding!

CALLER: Yep. Halfway across Nebraska, and there’s snow mixed in with this rain. But it’s time for the student to teach the teacher. You got it wrong.

RUSH: Uh-oh.

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: What’d I get wrong?

CALLER: Flammable liquid transportation engineer is not a pump jockey. That’s a truck driver.

RUSH: Oh.

CALLER: Yeah, a tanker yanker.

RUSH: I didn’t mean to be insulting. I was just trying to come up —

CALLER: Oh, I understand, but it’s just one of those things.

RUSH: But you do make a good point. Flammable transportation engineer would be a truck driver. Absolutely.

CALLER: Yeah.

RUSH: As opposed to —

CALLER: Just like what I’m doing, a commodities relocation heavy equipment operator.

RUSH: There you go. There you go. (laughing) Truck driver. Where are you in Nebraska right now that it’s snowing?

CALLER: Grand Island. Just went through Grand Island, Nebraska.

RUSH: No kidding. Well, it’s still April. You can still have snow in the upper Midwest.

CALLER: It’s 39 degrees out there, what the hay.

RUSH: If I was a member of the Drive-By Media, you know what I would say to you? Be sure you drive carefully in the snow, and remember to turn into the skid.

CALLER: Not with trucks.

RUSH: I know.

CALLER: Pulling a trailer.

RUSH: (laughing) The Drive-Bys don’t know that, though. All right, Mike, thank you, I appreciate it.