RUSH: Did you hear what happened to Les Moonves? Oh, man, it’s such… You know, I’ve been there. I have been there, I can relate. It turns out that Les Moonves went out to dinner at a restaurant called Vibrato in Beverly Hills, in Bel-Air. Bel-Air is even a cut up from Beverly Hills. He parked his car with a valet.

He valeted his car, went in and had dinner and came out, and it was time to get his car, and he took out this huge wad of cash from his pocket and started going through it and damned if he only had hundreds. He only had hundred-dollar bills. So he told the valet, “Sorry, bud. All I got’s hundreds here, man. I’ll catch you next time,” and got in the car and drove off. Now, my friends, I know how he felt there. Happens to me all the time.

Caddies on the golf course, you name it. Stuck at the valet, only hundred-dollar bills in my pockets. It’s a real problem. It can paralyze even the strongest among us. Do you realize the…? (interruption) It’s exact… (interruption) What was he gonna do? All he had was the pocket full of hundred-dollar bills. What’s he gonna do? He goes through this big wad. He’s looking for something less than a hundred. He can’t find anything less than a hundred-dollar bill.

He gets all embarrassed, and he looks at the valet, and says, “Hey, bud. You know what? All I got’s hundreds here. Catch you next time.” As I say, this frequently happens to me, and I know exactly how Moonves felt about it. It’s a real problem. It can paralyze even the strongest among us. It can embarrass people. The way I deal with this, however, is apparently different than Moonves. What I do when I show up at a place that valets the car, is I give the valet the hundred-dollar bill up front.

And I mention to park the car right in front so it’s gonna be there when I come back, and he does, and in reward for that, when I come out, I give him another hundred-dollar bill for leaving the car up front. The estab… You know, I have nice cars. The places I go like my car being in front, visible, because it gives an indication the kind of kind clientele inside. So I give the valet… Moonves could learn from this. I give the valet a hundred bucks when I show up and say, “Please leave the car right here. Just leave it right here in the portico, the entranceway, whatever.”

“Yes, sir.”

And I give him a hundred dollars when I leave for doing so, and I don’t ask for any change. That’s what Moonves could do. I assume the valet probably had change in his pocket. I mean, Moonves could have said, “Hey, give me 80 back, give me 90 back, give me 50 back. But he was paralyzed with embarrassment. He only had hundreds. And you should see the video of this. TMZ or somebody’s got video of this huge wad. Huge, huge wad. As I say, I have this problem, but I found ways to deal with it, which is basically being nice to and rewarding the valet for doing a good job.

That’s how I deal with it.

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RUSH: You know, I’m sorry, folks. I assumed that everybody knows who Les Moonves is, but it’s probably the case that most people don’t. I mean, he’s not a public figure. Those of us in major media know who Moonves is. Les Moonves is the chairman and CEO of CBS, actually Viacom. He runs the whole thing. I mean, Sumner Redstone is probably his boss. He’s the number two guy and runs CBS, and he was paid last year $53 million or $54 million last year in salary and bonus, working in CBS. And he just… He just got…

He froze out there. It’s on videotape.

He only had hundred-dollar bills and didn’t know what to do. You know, sometimes I even offer the valet a third hundred-dollar bill in my case. Sometimes… You know, you never know. These valets, some of them look… You shouldn’t judge people the way they look, but some of them do look shady and if I come out and my car is still there, I’ll give the guy a third hundred-dollar bill just thanks for not stealing the car.

It’s just the easiest way to do it. I would never ask for change from a valet or anybody else. (interruption) No, I would never stiff a valet. But I’m sure Les was just paralyzed, didn’t know what to do. He looked in his wad; he only had hundred-dollar bills. He forgot to go to the ATM and get some twenties, or else the bank forgot to bring twenties when they brought him his cash stash for the week or the day, however he does it. I doubt Les goes to the bank. But you never know. (interruption)

Well, at that level, yeah.

Banks will deliver cash to you, if they know who you are if you’re big time like that. I don’t… (interruption) Yeah. Either that or if you’re having trouble, you call Obama, and the Fed will print some up and have it messengered over. You know, at that level, getting cash happens in a far different way than you or I. I mean, I don’t even think Les probably has a PIN number. He probably has to have a debit card just for the account, but I bet he hadn’t set up PIN number. I mean, you’re not gonna be caught dead standing there at an ATM machine, as the CEO of CBS, unless you go show up in disguise or something.

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RUSH: Grab audio sound bite number 21. We have it here. This is Les Moonves outside a fashionable restaurant in Bel Air, California, last night. It was not TMZ that caught this. It was a website by the name of Leave My Name Out LA. He-he-he-he-he-he-he. Leave My Name Out LA. And they posted a video of the CBS president and CEO Les Moonves leaving a 92nd birthday party for Sumner Redstone. I wonder if Sumner knew he was there.

Anyway, it’s a big birthday bash, and he comes out, he’s valet parked his car, and he’s got this huge wad of bills that he pulls out of his pocket. He’s going through it, he only has hundreds. The valet is standing there looking expectantly like a tip, standard operating procedure, is gonna be coming his way.

VALET: It’s just one person, right?

MOONVES: Yes, yes. (bleep) I only have hundred dollar bills.

VALET: Don’t worry, sir. No worries.

MOONVES: I’ll get you next time.

RUSH: It’s all right, sir, don’t worry, no worries, I’ll get you next time. Les Moonves’ salary last year, benefits, bonus, all combined, $54 million. But look, as I’ve said, I’ve been there, it’s an embarrassing situation to be in, to only have hundred-dollar bills. Obviously Les was paralyzed here, didn’t know what to do. But it was caught on videotape. There you have it.