RUSH: Folks, it’s the last day to remind you. This is one of the greatest TwoIfByTea.com sweepstakes, and it is on, and this is the last day for you to enter. Right now through 11:59 p.m. Pacific tonight (Thursday), you have the chance to win one of two all-expense-paid trips for two people to one of my favorite places to unwind: Honolulu, Hawaii. We will take care of all the details.

There are gonna be two winners here, two couples, a total of four people. We take care of all the details. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy a well-deserved vacation on us. It is five days/four nights in Hawaii, for you. We put you in a luxury hotel. We get you there, round-trip airfare. We provide your meals and (as Reverend Sharpton would say) “cash money” for you to spend while on the ground, while you’re there.

We pick it all up.

And you know what else? We don’t slouch. You get to choose when you want to go. We don’t find a time that you have to go so that we can get special rates and plug you into it. You tell us when you want to go, when you can go, and we will make it happen. Now, there’s an added bonus here, folks. Maybe you’ve been to Hawaii. Maybe you want to go somewhere else.

Well, if you do, we have you covered. We will send you and a family member or guest to any of the 50 amazing American states, anywhere you want to go. Same deal applies in any state. Five days/four nights, luxury hotel… Well, if there are any. You might want to go to somewhere without one. Who knows? But we’ll get the nicest we can find for you where you want to go.

Round-trip airfare, meals, cash money to spend while you are there on the ground, and you pick when you want to go. Now, in addition to these two grand prizes, we are honoring our 50 American states by offering 50 additional prizes that start at a $400 value. You will not be let down. Again, all you have to do to enter and have a chance to get a phone call from us…

That’s one of the fun things about this is calling the winners. They can’t believe it, if they answer the phone. Sometimes they see “blocked” or “unknown” and let it go to voice mail, and then they kick themselves for not picking up the phone. Sometimes we talk to the winners and it’s, “Oh, gee, I wish I had let it ring. Nobody’s gonna believe that you called personally.”

We say, “Well, we’ll call you back and we’ll record a winner’s message on your voice mail for you,” and they always allow us to do that, too. It’s one of the fun things for us, because the people that end up winning are always so excited. They’re always so thrilled. It’s great. So that’s all you have to do, but you have to do it by 11:59 Pacific tonight (Thursday). Go to TwoIfByTea.com and shop. Now, this is the best-tasting iced tea in the country.

I don’t say that just because it’s mine or because I’m obligated to. I actually think it. We do comparison tests all the time, and I haven’t found anything close. I know these things are subjective, but to me it’s the best-tasting iced tea there is. I know it’s tea season. Fourth of July, it all makes sense. That’s why we’re doing it now.

We’re very brilliant marketers. We don’t leave anything to chance. But I just want to tell you: In addition to tea there are other things at the TwoIfByTea.com website that you can shop for and be qualified to win. You can pick up a Two If By Tea Ted-Tea Bear, for example. There are any number of things. Once you get there and start surfing, you’ll find something. I just wanted to make it plain that you don’t have to buy tea.

You can shop for anything. TwoIfByTea.com. All the official rules are posted right there. We have reduced prices for this special sweepstakes. So hurry and get your order in to be automatically entered while supplies last, and I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that supplies… (snorts) Folks, we might be setting records here. Better get in, get it, and get out while you can.

I wouldn’t lollygag, and I’m not exaggerating here. So just to review: 11:59 Pacific time tonight (Thursday) is the last chance you have to simply shop at TwoIfByTea.com and win one of two grand prizes: A trip to Hawaii, five days/four nights, luxury hotel, round-trip airfare, meals, cash money while you’re on the ground. And if it’s not Hawaii that you want to go to, pick it, and we’ll send you there.

Remember, we’re proud sponsors of the Marine Corps-Law Enforcement Foundation. They provide awareness, financial support for this superb charity. They provide college educations for the children of Marines killed in action. You end up doing yeoman’s support for them as well when you shop at TwoIfByTea.com. It’s the most patriotic tea in America. It’s coming up on tea season. It’s coming up on the Fourth of July.

The prices have been reduced.

It’s free shipping.

You really can’t afford not to do this.

TwoIfByTea.com.