RUSH: Forbes magazine. “Study: Unattractive People Are Targets For Cruelty At Work.” The story says that the ugly used to have it easy until Rush Limbaugh’s best-seller in 1992, The Way Things Ought to Be. Up until then, the ugly, in fact, were not getting along just fine, they were actually dominating, and they were everywhere. And then Limbaugh wrote his best-seller and talk radio ideologues came along, and now the ugly are being mistreated, maligned, discriminated against, and are now the targets for cruelty.

“Your workplace probably differs from the social scene of a typical high school in significant ways, and most would agree thatÂ’s a good thing. But a recent study reveals that when it comes to how attractive and unattractive people are treated, your office and your high school arenÂ’t so far removed. The study, conducted by researchers from Notre Dame and Michigan State University –” They actually studied this. This is more useless waste of time and money on our American campi. They actually wanna spend real money to find out whether it’s tougher for the ugly out there. I don’t know what they spent, but for 10% of it I woulda told ’em everything they need to know.

“The researchers surveyed 114 workers at a health care facility,” which, you know, the ugly tend to hang out there. I don’t know if you know this, but if you go to a health care center most of the people there would be — you’ve seen it. It’s like at a bowling alley. Well, don’t take my word for it; go. Go to a health care center, you’ll see what I’m talking about.

“The researchers surveyed 114 workers at a health care facility about how frequently co-workers treated them cruelly — defined as saying hurtful things, acting rudely and making fun of them (behaviors collectively referred to as ‘counterproductive work behavior’).” The researchers, I mean, there’s a reason they chose health care centers. They knew they’d find ugly people there. If you’re gonna survey the ugly and how they feel, how they think they’re treated, you gotta go where they are.

The real question is, how did the researchers decide who’s ugly and who isn’t? So you’re gonna do research on the ugly and you’re gonna go talk to ’em and you’re gonna find out how mistreated they are and how they feel about it, you then have to identify them. The survey does not tell us what the criteria are or were for being ugly. Maybe it’s like what Potter Stewart said about pornography. “Well, I can’t really define it, but I know it when I see it.”

“The researchers also took digital photos of those they surveyed and asked a different group of people, who didnÂ’t know the first group, to judge their attractiveness.” But they had to start somewhere. They went to a health care center, they went to a health care facility and they picked people and took pictures and asked, “Do you think these people are ugly or not?” And the research began.

“‘We find that unattractive individuals are more likely the subject of rude, uncivil and even cruel treatment by their coworkers. And, not only do we, as a society, perceive attractive and unattractive coworkers differently, we act on those perceptions in ways that are hurtful,’ said study co-author Timothy Judge, professor of management at the University of Notre Dame’s Mendoza College of Business,” which is located on the Mendoza Line. Do you know where the Mendoza Line is, Snerdley? Dawn, do you know where the Mendoza Line is? Brian, you should know. You know where the Mendoza Line is? It’s named after Mario Mendoza.

I can’t believe you guys don’t know this, the Mendoza Line. Mario Mendoza was an ugly shortstop, Major League Baseball, who could never hit above .200. A batting average of .200 is known as the Mendoza Line. And Timothy Judge, professor of management at the University of Notre Dame’s Mendoza College of Business at the Mendoza line.

“This isnÂ’t the first study to link physical attractiveness or lack thereof to bullying behavior, but it is the first to show the cruel dynamic at play between coworkers while taking into account personality factors — and the results arenÂ’t a win for professional courtesy.”

So we’re really mean people. Our distinct, unique American culture is really, really mean. But you know what this adds up to? There was a keyword I just read: bullying. Yes, my friends, and so now, since it has been established at the Mendoza Line that the ugly are treated cruelly and unfairly and rudely and all that, now people have been given ammunition to force down more laws on bullying. And of course it’s another opportunity for the leftists to whine about how unfair life is and to create a new victim group that needs, of course, federal assistance.

Now, let’s go to the opposite of ugly. Matt Harvey, pitcher for the New York Mets, did an interview recently in Men’s Journal, the August edition. He said that Derek Jeter is his role model. Derek Jeter, the shortstop of the New Yawk Yankees. This interview is astounding. Now, Matt Harvey’s 24 years old, so we can make some allowances. This is his first year of real stardom, but he’s already got pictures.

If you know where to look, Snerdley. Page Six, New York Times has pictures of Matt Harvey strolling through Central Park with his six foot tall, 45-inch legs blonde bombshell model. The next place they’ll find them is a museum. I mean, it’s almost written. He’ll be at a museum, then an art gallery, and wherever else women want to go. That’s where he’ll be, with her.

But while he’s running around with this (in many people’s minds) gorgeous, long, tall, blonde model, Matt Harvey told Men’s Journal about Derek Jeter, “That guy is the model. I mean, first off, let’s just look at the women he’s dated. Obviously, he goes out — he’s meeting these girls somewhere — but you never hear about it. That’s where I want to be.”

So he envies and wants to be like Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter, every month, is pictured with a different babe, and what Matt Harvey has observed is: My God, where’s he meeting these women? He’s meeting them someplace but you never read about it. The media never tells us where Jeter’s hanging out and what he’s doing when he’s there. All we do is see the picture of the next Jeter babe.

So Matt Harvey said, “That’s where I want to be. I want to date celebrities, I want to date actresses, I want to date models, but I don’t want anybody knowing how. I want to be pictured with these women, but I don’t want anything else known.”

Now, his girlfriend is “Anne Vyalitsyna, 27, the Russian supermodel and perennial Sports Illustrated swimsuit beauty he has been dating. When Harvey and Anne V. first made headlines as lovebirds, his teammates gave him a round of applause when he walked into the Mets locker room.”

Men’s Journal tried to find this woman, but they couldn’t. They wanted comments from her. They wanted to say, “You know, we just finished an interview with your boyfriend, and he just said he wants to be like Derek Jeter — a different date, different girl every month and every six months. That’s who he admires, and he wants to date celebrities and models and so forth.” They wanted some comment from her, but they couldn’t find her.

“Like Jeter … Harvey sounds like a bachelor on the prowl. ‘Man, do I f—ing love this city,’ he said. ‘IÂ’m young, IÂ’m single. I want to be in the mix. … I could buy a place now, but IÂ’ve gotta wait for that $200 million contract. If I’m going to buy an apartment, it has to be the best apartment in the city.” Now, maybe some people are gonna applaud this ’cause all he’s doing is giving voice to every dream every guy’s ever had. (chuckling) He’s just giving voice to it, but he’s being razzed for this in the local New York media.

Anyway, so that’s both sides of it: The ugly being mistreated and, of course, the beautiful people being celebrated and envied and all that.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: A little Ohio Players and the Love Rollercoaster, which is what Matt Harvey wants to be on. He’s cruising. He’s gonna be right there.