RUSH: You know, I love these stories. They come down the pike now and then and they just serve me so well. “Organic Food No Healthier Than Non-Organic.” Yes, this is from Reuters Health: “Organic produce and meat typically isn’t any better for you than conventional varieties.” I’m not targeting those of you in the organic food market. I appreciate entrepreneurism, and if the environmentalist whackos are going to come along and tell people that eating chicken and vegetables that has been lathered in dung is healthier for them than processed, fine and dandy. It’s just like if the wackos convince a bunch of customers that buying something green is good. Go green. Fine. I understand the marketing totally. But I also love the truth.

“Organic produce and meat typically isn’t any better for you than conventional varieties when it comes to vitamin and nutrient content, according to a new review of the evidence. But organic options may live up to their billing of lowering exposure to pesticide residue and antibiotic-resistant bacteria.” This is from researchers at Stanford. But it isn’t any healthier. It’s got no more vitamins, no more nutrients, same vitamins, all that stuff.

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Organic tastes better. Really? You know, I wouldn’t — again, I gotta be very careful here because there are people in the organic foods business. We love businesspeople. I wouldn’t know the difference. I saw the other day some guy at an organic egg farm won an award for the best eggs anywhere. It’s all how you cook the stuff. If you put butter on anything you’re going to think it’s better. That’s why male chefs are better than female because they don’t have any fear of using butter. My dad always made this point. If you’re going to go to a five-star restaurant make sure the chef is a man. If it’s a woman there won’t be any butter near it. Snerdley is laughing again with fluids coming out of every bodily orifice. He did. My dad did say that to me, with my mother sitting there, nodding in agreement. She hid the butter in our refrigerator. I’m not kidding. Well, because it’s supposedly so fattening and all that.