Is NFL Ready for Two If By Tea?

RUSH: Jim in Alexandria, Virginia, hi. Welcome to the EIB Network, sir. Welcome.

CALLER: (poor speakerphone audio) Hi, Rush. How you doing? It’s an honor to talk to you. I’ve been listening to you since 1937.

RUSH: (laughing) Well, that’s cool. I’m happy to know that.

CALLER: That’s Biden math. Hey, Rush, real quick, just since you’re the all-knowing, all-compassionate Maha Rushie, I think I knowhow you can realize a lifelong dream and reduce the number of unemployed, hardworking Americans at the same time. I think you and all the other rich guys that have been turned down for ownership by the bureaucrats at the NFL should pick up the contracts of all those unemployed football players that are out of work because of their mean owners. Seriously, if the owners locked out the players — which I think is a lot like McDonald’s locking out their hamburgers — you know, nobody tunes in on Sunday to see what Jerry Jones is gonna do. Look at what Jerry Jones really owns. He has the name and the logo and the contracts of 50 players that he just fired. So let’s say you and a few of the other guys that you play golf with buys the contracts for the Rams, rename them the St. Louis Rammers and then you sign a 50-50 agreement the players are holding out for, and then offer the IPO to Goldman Sachs. The upside for an IPO for a proven business with a devoted clientele — and what is it, $8 billion in revenue? — you could get rich.

RUSH: Yeah, and save America at the same time. (laughing)

CALLER: That’s right — and put a finger in the eye of people that picked Fergie over you as an owner.

RUSH: Well, you know, I love the entrepreneurial spirit as it lives in your heart there. But we are on the verge of this NFL lockout and whatever else being solved. It’s not a done deal yet, but they’re pretty close. It’s never to the point that somebody could say something and not blow it up but they’re pretty close now. They’re getting pretty close to where they’re gonna start committing things to paper, here.

CALLER: Well, I’m very sad, Rush, because the thought of you in the owner’s box has a lot of appeal for me.

RUSH: I know what you’re talking about. I would be an owner people would come out to watch.

CALLER: (laughing)

RUSH: I don’t think there’s any question about that. I think you are extremely observant, sir. You showing here a unique talent for observation.

CALLER: What about Two If By Tea Stadium? Think of the marketing possibilities?

RUSH: (laughing) Yeah. If you own the team, you kind of have an inside angle on the naming rights.

CALLER: Right.

RUSH: (laughing)

CALLER: Out of one pocket into the other, I’m telling you it could work out.

RUSH: I like the way you think, I really do. Two If By Tea Stadium. Can you imagine what would happen if we simply tried to buy naming rights for some new stadium? I must be honest, I’ve never understood it. You know, they’re trying to get a team here in Los Angeles and Farmers Insurance has anteed up. They’ve promised — as part of the gambit to get the team, they have guaranteed — $800 million in naming rights for a new stadium to be built over (I think the usual period of time) 20 years. Now, the theory is that it’s advertising, every time there’s an event at the place it’s called Farmers Insurance stadium. Speaking as a consumer, you know, there was Continental Airlines Arena.

It has never made me oriented to fly Continental Airlines. Nothing against Continental Airlines. American Airlines Arena or Pepsico Field is not how advertising works on me. I know it keeps the name out there, but I’m into results-oriented advertising. I don’t care so much in making impressions. There’sall kinds of different theories involved in advertising. Cost per thousand is basically you don’t care what you sell as a result of that expenditure. You’re more interested in brand recognition, just getting the brand seen because it’s believed that that familiarity at some point will then pay off — and, of course, it’s hard to argue against it with Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, or others.

But I, El Rushbo, specialize in results oriented. I move product. Even if we were to have Two If By Tea Stadium, the only one I would do it was get my picture on the stadium just to tick off people. Not because I would think it would sell more tea, although I would require Two If By Tea as a concession in the stadium if we were to get the naming rights. But that is very expensive, and I’ve never understood the value of it in terms of naming rights. I know what it is. When you’re talking about sports — and don’t doubt me on this, because I’ve seen it. I’ve worked in sports, and I know that everybody in it is a groupie. Everybody. Even some owners are groupies in certain sports. Many of the sportswriters are nerd geek groupies. The clubhouse attendants, everybody. Sports is akin to American royalty.

It’s all on television. The people that perform these sports well are instant stars and can get away with anything off the field. The ingredients are all there — and, of course, people want to bask in the glow of all of that attention. So it attracts a lot of groupies, which is why jobs at professional sports teams really don’t pay all that much at most levels ’cause they can get anybody to do it for free. I mean, they have to pay people legally, but you wouldn’t believe the number of people who work in the PR department for nothing just to be able to say that they do. By contrast, there are groupies in corporate boardrooms — and if it costs them $20 million a year to hobnob with the owner of a team and maybe get to go to the locker room and travel on a couple of trips every year?

“Okay, here $20 million to put the name of my product on your stadium.”

“You can’t be serious, Mr. Limbaugh! Do you really mean that American businesses will make decisions based on such specious reasons?”

Yes, Mr. New Castrati. Business decisions are made on all kinds of things, different criteria. I don’t care what sport you’re talking, there are more groupies in it than there are not — including employees, people, staff being paid at the various organizations. It is inarguable.

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