“If you’re the Iranians and you take hostage 15 sailors who start confessing within 24 hours, what are you going to learn from it? You’re going to learn that nobody in the West is going to stop you from ramping up your nuke arsenal. You also learn that you can play the Western media like a Stradivarius.”
“I’m not telling you the Islamists are dangerous — they are! Listen to them! They’re the ones who are threatening to blow us off the map along with Israel! Listen to bin Laden, listen to Zawahiri, listen to Ahmadinejad! That’s what scares me — nobody believes what these people say!”
“It’s been so long since we have heard some Klaus Nomi. Have you heard our gay community update theme? Oh, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel, Rachel: you spend too much time watching Al Gore’s movie.”
“If you’re wondering what Klaus Nomi looks like, all I can tell you is that when I listened to him for the first time I imagined his looks. Then I saw a photo of Klaus Nomi, and I was right on the money.”
“You liberals are going to have to get over this silly notion that everybody is entitled to dump on us because ‘we discriminate against people.’ Terrorism is the ‘only way’ the Islamists can be heard? Why can’t they just be happy and live amongst themselves?”
“‘The purpose of armies is to kill people and break things.’ When I read that I thought, ‘Yep, that pretty much sums it up as briefly as it can be summed up.'”
“‘The Clinton campaign denies that it strong-armed anybody, saying the warnings Hillary made were in jest.’ Yeah, Hillary is such a funny babe; she’s such a jokester. When’s the last time you laughed when a Clinton said anything? I mean, laughing with them.”
“I think the only thing that could wake up the United States to the Iranian threat is if they nuked one of Oprah’s homes. They might even get upset if they nuke Paris Hilton’s house.”
“Left-handed people are obviously the result of poor potty-training during the formative years.”