“The cigar I just lit tastes like it had perfume on it. Have you been messing around in the humidor, Dawn? No, it’s not the soap. Man, this smells like a French bordello.”
“I’m going to tell you something, folks: The one thing about this McNabb incident that I have noticed and am not happy about is that it has made Donovan McNabb a perfect victim — and that is just very sad. There was no need for him to become a victim.”
“Actually, ChiCom workers don’t make nearly as much as American workers, or employees. I hate that word — ‘worker’. It’s a communist word.”
“If we all have to go get health insurance to get a job, I have another question for Mrs. Clinton: Will she require us all to wear as hospital gowns those Chairman Mao suits that she wears?”
“I ought to do a Rush Limbaugh exercise video: ‘When it comes time to pack, go to your closet with your staff member, open the door and point to what you want packed, rather than sending them an e-mail. That will require you to climb the steps to your closet upstairs.'”
“This business of Charles Barkley saying that the Philadelphia fans have been rude and unfair to McNabb… they’re that way to everybody! They boo Santa Claus!”
“I love myself, I love my life, and I’m trying to protect it against the encroachment of little new liberal castrati nerds like you, Mrs. Clinton, John Edwards, and all the rest of those people.”
“Where does Mrs. Clinton come off as the health care expert? Where does Obama come off as the chief lecturer on capitalism? ‘But Rush! But Rush! They’re presidential candidates!’ I know. And it’s up to the people to figure out that they’re frauds.”
“I admit: this is the first time I’ve encountered a Muslim with the last name ‘Butt’.”