“Press release: ‘Hillary Clinton, joined by New Jersey governor John Corzine and Michigan governor Jennifer Granholm, will discuss solutions for the American economy.’ Absurd! She’s going to discuss how to improve the economy with two governors whose states are fiscal basket cases?”
“I want some of you to check and see if your property tax every year is higher than what you’re paying for health insurance. Yours isn’t, Brian? Well, you must live in a dump.”
“There’s a big difference between the Clinton women and Romney women: The Romney women know they don’t have a chance of sleeping with him.”
“If you watched even 30 minutes of the Democrat debate last night, I guarantee that you’ll need to go get your blood sugar checked today because you might be diabetic: It was that syrupy sweet.”
“The reason I love Ronald Reagan is because he came along and applied conservative principles –and they worked! And do you understand how frustrating it is to have people in our own party besmirch it?”
“The New York Times today: ‘No GOP Anchor in Sight.’ There’s a reason for that: The GOP anchor is on the radio.”
“This is what working at the New York Times does to conservatives: It waters them down, it neuters them, and it makes them think they need to seek the approval of all the other liberals in town.”
“Media Matters — the Clinton front group — sent out a piece claiming that I used the word ‘spade’ in my monologue on Monday, knowing full well that it was Hillary who said Obama hadn’t done the ‘spadework’ necessary on foreign policy! Ha! It was delicious!”
“We have decided to come up with a name for you babes out there who are smitten with Mitt Romney: ‘Mittens.'”