“I’m actually thinking of suspending the term ‘El Rushbo’ today because a lot of illegal immigrants in New York might be rather bothered. Well, Eliot Spitzer has angrily withdrawn his plan to give driver’s licenses to them.”
“Liberals’ arrogance and elitism will not permit them to accept the fact that their ideas are no good. There has to be somebody to blame, and who is it? It’s always me.”
“Mr. Snerdley just asked me over the IFB, ‘Is there anybody upset over this writer’s strike?’ It’s an interesting question, but I don’t see the public marching outside David Letterman’s or Jon Stewart’s studio demanding fresh shows.”
“I’m a very humble person; I don’t even think of my power. I don’t come in here consciously wielding it, and I don’t ever consider it to exist. I just do what I love.”
“In every instance in this illegal immigration business — be it the amnesty bill this past summer, the wet DREAM Act, or this driver’s licenses sham for illegals — where the informed people of this country made a difference, it shows.”
“What’s wrong with Bear fans? Chicago is a great sports town. The fans show up and support losers all the time.”
“Read George Washington’s first Thanksgiving proclamation. I defy a liberal to do it and stay sane. I mean, it must mention ‘God’ in it 30 times. That alone would put them off.”
“Al-Qaeda has been run out of Baghdad. We have Petraeus representatives going to sit down with Mookie al-Sadr. The word ‘victory’ is starting to show up on certain people’s lips. This scares Harry Reid all to hell.”
“It started on October 30th, and today is November 14th. So just over two weeks, and the driver’s licenses for illegals issue is dead. And once again, it’s because of me. Ain’t it great?”