“Mrs. Clinton’s odds of getting the nomination did not increase all that much last night. What we did, if we did anything, was exactly what I wanted to do: create a bunch of chaos in the Democrat Party. And it worked!”
“Remember what I told you, Mr. Snerdley: There are no rules in the Democrat Party, there are only customs and traditions. Don’t frown at me! Do you realize what a brilliant observation that is?”
“Mrs. Clinton is now talking about a joint ticket with herself on top. By the way, that’s her choice of words, not mine. Well, it’s the Clintons, Snerdley! What do you do expect?”
“The Democrats have been crapping on everything we hold dear and blaming us for not having any toilet paper.”
“If we lose in November, you can thank the Republican nominee himself. I have only helped prolong the Democrat blood-letting — which can only help McCain, any way you look at it. And I know I’m not going to get a thank-you call.”
“To paraphrase Rummy, remember: You don’t go to Denver with the delegates you want, you go to Denver with the delegates you have.”
“Wow. The Obama campaign is reaching out to an 81-year-old Ugandan who was watching the election results in Iowa. That’s how we define America’s greatness, ladies and gentlemen.”
“The View has the potential to do more damage to women than Oprah does. Good Lord, it’s insulting! There have to be executives at ABC that understand the literal ignorance that’s being broadcast on their network; I guess they know their audience.”
“Folks, as an individual or a nation, if you live your life to be liked by others, you’re dead, because then you’re letting them define who you are.”