“Harry Reid says the economy is or could be heading towards a recession. Now that, folks, is the best news of the week! The politician who said we lost the war is now saying that we are losing the economy. I mean, when Dingy Harry makes a call, the opposite is almost a sure thing.”
“CNBC has the Money Honey over there in Davos, Switzerland, and I saw the strangest thing: She’s standing outside wearing one of those, you know, communist raccoon hats — kind of like the kind that Bill Schneider wears on CNN.”
“I’m not going to say this because all I’m going to do is make women mad… All right, I’m going to say it: Mrs. Clinton was the only one sitting there at the debate last night who could not cross her legs.”
“In a capitalist economy such as ours, markets correct. Remember that word: ‘correct’. Businesses, out of necessity, correct their mistakes. Can I give you an example of something that does not correct its mistakes very often, if ever? Bureaucracies.”
“Did you notice how upset Mrs. Clinton got when Barack Obama had the temerity to remind America that she was once a corporate lawyer sitting on the Wal-Mart board? Lucky for him there were no ashtrays nearby on the stage.”
“May I ask you people — you lovely, adorable, wonderful people in this country — a question? Why are all the Republican candidates pretending to be Ronald Reagan if the ‘era of Reagan is over’?”
“McCain said to the people of Michigan: ‘Some of these jobs you’ve lost are not coming back.’ And then the Drive-Bys said: ‘Wow! That’s the kind of straight talk we need! We need to tell people their future sucks!'”
“Only last week did my brother David write a glowing column endorsing Fred Thompson for president. Now Thompson, within ten days, has pulled out of the race. I have now asked my brother to write a column endorsing Senator McCain and, following that, Governor Huckabee.”
“It’s bad enough when women and minorities are hardest hit, but when dogs and cats are the victims of the subprime mortgage mess… Now we know it’s serious.”
