“You know, my parents raised me well and told me you’re not to make fun of people’s peculiarities, but as a highly trained broadcast specialist, I must admit I have never understood how somebody who can’t pronounce their L’s — Tom Brokaw — rose to the top of the news reporting business.”
“All these questions to Rudy about whether the NYPD was used to ferry his girlfriend around… What about the Secret Service ferrying Clinton’s girlfriends around? Why are those questions not asked?”
“Searcy, Arkansas happens to be where my sweet, blessed mother was born. It also happens to be where my mother met Margaret Thatcher. And it also is the case that Margaret Thatcher and my mother were born on the same day in the same year.”
“The problem with the Third World is not rich countries like us stealing from them — they have nothing to steal! We are not keeping them down; socialism, communism, and dictators are.”
“Let me just say it, shouting here from the mountaintops: I believe in God, and I believe in the God of creation. And, yes, there are some things on this planet that are dangerous, like the Colorado horn toad or whatever. If you lick it, you can have a hallucinogenic experience.”
“Hillary’s a ‘great uniter’? Really? Besides, what the hell is with being united? What the hell’s that? I don’t want to be united with libs — I want to beat them!”
“Death and destruction and martyrdom and the cause is such a wonderful thing, isn’t it? But you never see Bin Laden or Zawahiri or any of the others blowing themselves up. No, they’re not eager to get to heaven for the 73 virgins.”
“Did Iran really stop their nuclear program in 2003? We need the truth, and there’s only one man up to the task — a man who can go to Iran for three days, sit in the cafes, sip tea, and secure information — and that man is Joe Wilson, who can get to the bottom of anything except who sent him to Niger.”
“By the way, it’s my brother’s birthday today. Happy birthday, Dave! Hope he has a happy birthday. I’m giving him nothing. He doesn’t need it.”
