“Fox just asked: What role will Hillary take at the Democrat Convention? Her role will be to secure the nomination away from Obama. You watch.”
“Since I went deaf, I have this ringing tone in my ear all the time. I really think I’m hearing Gregorian chants all day long. Why it’s Gregorian chants, I couldn’t tell you. It’s just my own personal soundtrack and it’s in there for something.”
“You people at the Palm Beach Post — just like I told CNBC the other day — if you don’t get your act together over there and start reporting accurately, I’m going to buy your paper after I buy CNBC and shut it down, too!”
“They’re naming a little street after Larry King in Los Angeles on Thursday. I’m glad they do this for people before they die. You know, they do all this stuff for people after they have left us, and the honoree never knows about it, so good for Larry.”
“That’s a new one — this program promotes healthy marriages to boot. Why, thank you for that, Rafael. That’s an awesome thing for you to say!”
“It’s easy to sit around and do nothing if you think somebody’s going to take care of you, but none of those characteristics built this country.”
“We have a brand-new slogan for Select Comfort beds that we can incorporate into our next series of commercials: ‘Make your next Rush baby on a Select Comfort bed while you set your own firmness!'”
“Frankly, I’m a little tired of hearing Republicans tell us that they can’t win. I’m tired of Republicans telling us how many seats they expect to lose in the Senate, that this isn’t their year. BS! This year has been served up on a silver platter!”
“Remember Ronaldus Magnus talking about the shining city on a hill? Well, there is no shining city on a hill without domestic oil, coal, gas, and nuclear power. And there is no shining city with windmills, solar panels, compact fluorescents, and hybrids and ethanol.”
“Folks, do you know what the name of Madonna’s next tour is? The ‘Sticky & Sweet Tour’. I do not need to define that for the people in Rio Linda.”
“Let me tell you the dirty little secret here, folks. When did Barack Obama get rich?During the Bush years!”
“Obama has no fundamental understanding of some of the most important institutions that have led to this nation’s greatness. All he has is anger about them, a disrespect for them, and a distrust of them because of how he has been educated.”
“I’ll tell you what this Troopergate’s all about: it’s all about the good old boys of Alaska being upset that a woman — Sarah Palin — has upset the applecart.”
“In military operations, football games, politics, or what have you, outcomes can never be assumed. You crush the opponent! You don’t let the opponent back in the game!”
“Liberals plot and scheme. I am convinced that when they dream, they telepathically are able to share their dreams with each other so that when they wake up in the morning the battle plan already happened while they were already asleep.”
“By the way, Obama has this giant fundraiser in Hollywood tonight; $28,500 bucks to get in, Barbra Streisand singing. Now, having this in the midst of a depression? How sensitive is that?”
“I didn’t want to go to college. I hated school! I would look out the window andsee the bread truck go by and say, ‘I wish I was driving the bread truck; at least I wouldn’t be in prison.'”
“What’s so funny in there? Oh, jeez, Dawn. Dawn just said, ‘$400 million is eight years’ worth of work for some people.’ Now, Dawn, that’s really unfair of you.”
“I can’t turn on a dime and buy into this whole dumping-on-Bush-as-a-way-to-promote-McCain thing because Bush isn’t on the ballot and Bush is not the enemy. He is simply not disliked in a personal way by people who are going to vote for McCain.”
“I want to know something: I want to know with whom Jamie Gorelick has pictures of with a goat.”