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“To the extent people are angry, it’s not because the government’s not doing enough. It’s because it doesn’t do enough right.”
“Obama’s friends and associates include a crook, Tony Rezko, a terrorist, Bill Ayers, and Jeremiah Wright, an anti-American racist. Spin it however they will, this all tells us something about the man and his politics.”
“It’s a godsend: Charlie Gibson actually asked Obama about the capital gains tax rate and how revenue goes up when it’s cut, and poor little Barack here got lost.”
“Rinnai Tankless Water Heaters are the way to heat hot water, and you can see how it works at ForeverHotWater.com. Look, if it’s good enough for the North Carolina mistress, it’s good enough for you.”
“Don’t try this at home. We who are great at what we do make it look easy. Everybody thinks they can do it, which is inspiring in its own way, but nevertheless, one has to know one’s limitations.”
“The 1984 San Francisco Democrat convention — I was there. It was my first ever political convention. I’m listening to this pure, anti-American tripe, and Tip O’Neill is sitting there like Jabba the Hutt.”
“If the Republicans want to win in a landslide, regardless of what the superdelegates do, they should just have somebody give my opening monologue here to Senator McCain.”
“Duncan, how do you spell your name? Oh. Mr. Snerdley spelled it ‘D-u-n-k-i-n’. I’m thinking: ‘We have a donut on the phone?'”
“Don’t do this to me! Hee, hee! Cheez Whiz… No, it’s not Silly String. It was body lotion! Ha, ha! Would you let me finish the story? I’m trying to provide as journalistically as possible the details, but I keep getting interrupted by the sick members of my own staff!”
“Klaus Nomi looks just like he sounds, folks. Trust me.”