“You have to hear, folks, the reaction to Karl Rove’s appearance on this program yesterday. The media is beside itself that Rove called them ‘effete, elite snobs.’ That really tore them a new one.”
“You remember how Andrea Mitchell of NBC made a big deal out of the fact that at the end of the day Hillary washed the dishes? That tells me that Andrea doesn’t and hasn’t in a long time. Well, most of these Drive-By babes in DC don’t do the dishes.”
“Snerdley is screaming at me here instead of screening calls. What? What? Oh. Snerdley’s afraid that I will be misunderstood as cold-hearted and cruel. He thinks I don’t care. Of course I care.”
“You liberals are sweet-talked by the Democrats, and then you get clobbered again. How much verbal abuse are you liberals going to continue to take? When will you finally say, ‘Enough! I’m through being a battered liberal’?”
“What’s even more hideous about Battered Liberal Disorder is that it’s enabled — but there is hope. There is a virtual sanctuary — a safe house, if you will — called ‘The Rush Limbaugh Program.'”
“I do not lampoon states or cities. The only time that that has ever happened here was in the first six months of the program –I had to ban all calls from Reno, Nevada. I did it for a week because, well, it was pretty bad.”
“Nobody here thinks that North Carolina is full of a bunch of bumpkins or ignorant people; there’s ignorant people all over the place. Our job here, though, is to keep them off the radio. I just stepped in it again, didn’t I?”
“When a liberal says, ‘We need to end the partisan bickering,’ what he means is, ‘The conservatives need to shut up. And if they won’t shut up, we’ll make them shut up.'”
“Pardon the sniffles again today, folks. I know it sounds rude and unprofessional, but you watch: since I am the role model for media figures today, sniffling will become an art form.”