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The Maha Rushie

by Rush Limbaugh - May 19,2011

“I pledge to you today: I am never going to ride in a hybrid. I’m not going to ride in an electric car, and I’m not going to exercise to lose weight.”

“I’m going to introduce a new phrase on the program today, and I want it to be picked up by as many people as possible. I keep saying the Democrats are ‘invested in defeat.’ Well, the new phrase is, ‘They own defeat.'”

“I’m getting all kinds of e-mails and jokes: ‘How many Rush Limbaughs does it take to change a light bulb?’ Nice try, you people. The correct answer to the question is, ‘You gotta be kidding. That’s what staff are for.'”

“I did an interview with the BBC yesterday afternoon about my hearing loss, which led to an interrogation on the Michael J. Fox incident and the Christopher Reeve scenario. Ah, aced it; don’t sweat it, Snerdley.”

“If we launched attacks on Iran and Syria today and went heavy metal, pedal-to-the-wall, this country would be cheering. The Democrats and the media would be in panic, but the people in this country would be cheering.”

“I’m in a feisty mood today because I’m battling all this conventional wisdom that’s out there. Of course, it wouldn’t be so bad if the conventional wisdom-types weren’t such a bunch of snot-nosed, elitist know-it-alls.”

“We have not been attacked since 9/11. As I see it, if we are attacked again it will be because the Democrats and their allies will have succeeded in weakening our country to the point of making it vulnerable.”

“I think those of you listening to the program today would have to agree that I’ve been particularly focused and brilliant, stirring and uplifting. Yet what do I have here on the roster of phone calls? People wanting to talk about light bulbs.”

“Maureen Dowd is a reliable, whacked-out liberal. It’s a shame how unhappy she is! I am tempted to think I could change that with just one dinner. You know me; I’m an eternal optimist. It’ll never happen, but we can fantasize.”

“Am I not making myself clear about this? Why are people continuing to call here to be so argumentative with me? How can they possibly think I’m wrong after 18 and a half years of being right?”