“I am not being paid for these movie reviews. I make so much money, they couldn’t pay me enough to make it matter. I mean, I don’t need ten and twenty-dollar bills in my pocket — they’re problematic.”
“It’s a good point: if you’re a Republican and you want media respect, die. Now they’re going to write that I’m laughing about death on this program.”
“Have we forgotten what executions are? They’re supposed to be ‘solemn’? How many times did Old Sparky not work?”
“Where is the curiosity in the media about why Iraqis behaved the way they did with Saddam on the gallows? It’s as though they had no reason for it. They probably listen to talk radio in Iraq. That’s probably it. It made them coarse.”
“There’s some pro-impeachment group called The World Can’t Wait. Sounds like the title of a Bond movie.”
“The cigar I lit is flawed and hardly has any smoke at all. In fact, I’m ditching it. I missed the trash can, so we now have ashes all over the carpet. Well, the cleaning crew can get it later.”
“You can’t be the pus and the Neosporin at the same time. You are one or the other.”
“CNN apologized to Barack Obama for calling him Osama, but have they apologized to Osama bin Laden for call him Barack Obama? They haven’t. He is owed an apology from CNN as well. Wolf, give him a call. I’m sure you people know where he is.”
“I’m a nice guy; spread the word.”
