“I’m not able to play the AT&T National Pro-Am tournament this week, of course, because of my devotion and duty to you people here in the audience. Although, I don’t know if it’s appreciated or not.”
“I think the strain of all this is showing on Mrs. Clinton. Well, she was wearing these oddball little yellow outfits and these crazy facial expressions all day yesterday.”
“Did David Shuster abuse Chelsea the way Hillary’s husband abused a 20-year-old intern named Monica Lewinsky? As I recall, Hillary wasn’t all that concerned about Monica at the time.”
“I don’t control the real disaffection conservatives are feeling for the Republican Party and for Washington in general. This is the result of years of contempt for the grassroots, false promises, and pseudo-conservatism.”
“I really don’t care what it is in life — if you start taking things personally, you’re doomed. Besides, most of the time when people start ripping you, they’re really telling you more about themselves than they are about you.”
“And there you have it: I have just been compared to the North Vietnamese on Fox News. It’s a great day, folks. We’re going beyond all the previously established boundaries here.”
“Barack Obama says nothing better than anybody in a long time. I mean, people are crying, and they’re in tears listening to it, but he’s saying nothing.”
“I want to send out a hearty congratulations — with sincere love and devotion and awe and respect — to all of you wearing the military uniform of this country, in whatever branch in which you serve. Those of you in Iraq, those of you in Afghanistan — God bless you. You are succeeding.”
“I need to go out and get a Mao hat. You know, a little Mao jacket? Hillary wears them.”