“Now, let’s see if I understand this. In Chinatown, people who live in tenements are giving $1,000 and $2,000 in campaign contributions to Mrs. Clinton, but they can’t afford health care. Is that not just cute?”
“News flash here, folks: Al-Jazeera has announced that it will soon air another audiotape by Osama Bin Laden, which means more Democrat party talking points.”
“Snerdley is sending me a note, here: ‘Are you sure Bin Laden’s not going to be talking about phony soldiers?’ Ha! Would that not be great? ‘Bin Laden reads Media Matters for America, too.'”
“The Air Force did a flyover before the Dolphins game, F-15s. I tell you: every time I see and hear one of those, it’s just spine-tingling.”
“With one hour to go, after 167 hours had gone by without comment, Senator Harry Reid — Democrat, Nevada — tried to horn in on the credit for our eBay auction. What a guy.”
“Libs say, ‘We have to stop punishing the Earth. It’s just so fragile, Mr. Limbaugh!’ No, it’s not! It’s going to outlast us and whatever we do to it. Ah, the vanity that some of the people on this planet have.”
“The press is never going to acknowledge that any aspect of conservatism works. They look at conservatism as an aberration, filled with a bunch of kook-weirdo-NASCAR types. You know, dunces like Ronald Reagan.”
“It’s interesting that a clinic for ‘STDs, hemorrhoids, and skin disease’ would be giving Mrs. Clinton campaign contributions. That’s more Bill’s style, but hey: two-for-one.”
“The way to look at this is not that the media is not covering our eBay auction fairly — because we know that’s going to happen — but, ‘Look what we did without them.'”
