“Where is Snerdley? Oh, there you are. What — were you laying down on the floor or something? I was going to say, I am not screening the calls myself on this show like I had to do in Kansas City back in the seventies.”
“I do have somebody to pack for me, but it’s not as simple as you think. Because of my weight fluctuations, I have different sizes of everything in the closet. I just can’t tell the staff person, ‘Okay, get me ten golf shirts.’ I have to stand there and pick each one.”
“James Carville sent out a mass e-mail seeking the ‘bumper sticker slogan’ that will carry the Dems through the 2008 elections. I worked on a few of my own: ‘Vote early, vote often. Que pasa?’ and, ‘LBJ’s Great Society: one more decade oughta do it.'”
“I’ve been to a slaughterhouse — it was a field trip in grade school. Going through that I said, ‘Oh, God. I’m not ever eating ham or bacon again.’ That lasted about a day.”
“I have seen in my younger life blatant racism right in front of my eyes; it’s not a stranger to me. But what I also have seen is that those days don’t exist anymore — except in the imaginations of people who can’t let go because it entitles them to be victims.”
“There are certain areas in the business world where I cannot work because of what I think. I have not whined and moaned about it, but have accepted it as a badge of honor.”
“Every one of us gets stigmatized for something; there’s prejudice against the overweight, there’s prejudice against nerds, and there’s prejudice against geeks. And believe me: every nerd and geek knows who he is.”
“CNN has this story about seasoned citizens ‘having more sex than you think.’ Actually, I must be honest: I don’t think about seasoned citizens having sex, so I don’t know how they can be having more sex than I think.”
“I think the Clintons populate their organizations with like-minded people and their only order is: ‘You say nothing about what you see or hear with us.'”