“Nothing could get as low as the statement from the San Francisco treat, Barbara Boxer — the mouth that shall live in infamy. If no children disqualifies Condoleezza Rice from making policy, does no brains, no class, and no taste disqualify Barbara Boxer?”
“How can you even describe this kind of thinking by Barbara Boxer? Here you have a rich white chick with a huge big mouth trying to lynch — diss — an African-American woman right before Martin Luther King Day by hitting her below the ovaries.”
“I totally agree with you that we should call the feminized male population of this country the ‘new castrati.’ As an Amazon, you understand what that means. By the way, she called herself that, folks, if you’re just tuning in.”
“I want to be like Barbara Boxer and say, ‘Wait a minute — I don’t have any kids. Why are you taxing me to pay for education? I’m not burdening the education system!'”
“The All American First Cavalry Amazon Battalion is a division of women who are — at the time of combat — in the middle of PMS. It has nothing to do with size. It has to do with just turning them into banshees for the purposes of combat.”
“I moved to Florida when I learned there was no state income tax here. People told me, ‘You are greedy and you are selfish!’ I said, ‘Really? I think I’m pretty smart.’ I mean, why is it okay to shop for deals at Wal-Mart at Christmastime but not okay for shop for deals in taxes?”
“If you get a bike and you’re saving the planet, saving the country, helping emissions, getting in better shape and your wife likes herself in Spandex, it’s a win-win, right?”
“For every birthday that I’ve been hosting this program, I’ve sent out strict orders: ‘Don’t do anything. No cake. Nothing.’ And they always do it! So I’m just going to say thank you, rather than deny you the pleasure of giving me such a small cake.”
“What kind of cake is this? Yellowcake with white icing? My favorite: white trash cake.”