“Norah O’Donnell asked H.R., ‘Would Rush ever do an interview with me?’ H.R. said, ‘Probably not — in general, he doesn’t do interviews with anybody — but it would help to have a large audience.’ Ha! Way to go, H.R.!”
“The reason this smear does not work, ladies and gentlemen, is because I have a 19-and-a-half-year record on this program of being one of the most devoted supporters of US military personnel that there is.”
“I have to go to take a profit center time-out where we charge $20,000 a minute, and I would rather do that than listen to you, Rod.”
“I want to read you an e-mail I got last night: ‘Dear Rush: You have ruined my life as a liberal Democrat. No longer am I a fun-loving hipster that waits for government action. You make too much sense.'”
“Can you believe that John Kerry has the audacity to ask me to apologize for something I didn’t say — after his record of bashing and criticizing and demoralizing the troops? This is laughable. And I’m throwing it right back in their face!”
“I want to thank Media Matters for America for making it so easy, ladies and gentlemen, to show how a real conspiracy works — not the phony-baloney, ‘vast right-wing conspiracy’.”
“I have never seen The Family Guy; I don’t watch cartoons. I haven’t seen The Simpsons, either, in a long, long time. Nothing against those shows, it’s just that cartoons — for me — are for eight-year-olds.”
“Dawn keeps talking about the thing that she likes the most about our new GM car: the heads-up display of the speedometer on the windshield so you don’t have to look down at the dashboard. Dawn’s been known to have a lead foot at times.”
“I was distraught during the Clinton years, too, but I managed to laugh. I figured, if I can laugh while distraught, everybody else could.”