“It’s only going to be 69 degrees here on Sunday. We’re going to have to break out the polar bear coats! I bought one the other day; I have a dinner party I have to go to tonight. It’s a nice white thing. It looks like what Joe Namath used to wear when he wore the white mink.”
“The one big question that I have, ladies and gentlemen, to Valerie Plame is this: If you were covert, then why in the world didn’t Fitzgerald prosecute on that basis?”
“Valerie Plame made it a point in her opening statement to say, ‘My covert status was not widely known on the Georgetown cocktail circuit.’ Was not widely known? Does that mean it was narrowly known? Partially known? I would think that if you’re a covert CIA agent, no one would know.”
“Valerie Plame is saying, ‘I’m always going to be covert, Congressman! I’m always going to be covert.’ ‘No, you’re not. You’ve been outed.’ ‘I don’t care! I’m still covert! I want to be covert, got it? I’m going to be covert or I’ll call Mrs. Clinton with her testicle lockbox!'”
“I’ve exhausted my in-depth analysis of the Valerie Plame appearance before the House committee today, but I have to tell you something: After all is said and done, I, frankly, don’t care. This woman is a babe.”
“Open Line Friday is what it is, but we don’t allow kooks. If you’re going to talk about 9/11 being an inside job and start agreeing with Rosie O’Donnell, I would suggest rehab and treatment. Like Rosie, you probably have some really deep issues from your childhood that need to be resolved.”
“I know it’s legal to eat horse meat in Europe, but I did not know there was a proposed ban on slaughtering horses to send the meat overseas. Is that because we need them for the glue?”
“I think that cats have to be smarter than dogs. There’s no other possible conclusion. Cats have staff; dogs have masters. There’s no such thing as a seeing-eye cat. They don’t care. You get run over by a car, it’s your problem.”
“I do live responsibly and I don’t pollute. I turn off the lights at night. How many lights in the house do I have? I only leave a hundred of them on — something like that.”