“I am going to suggest here that Mr. Frank Coletta — at the powerhouse NBC affiliate in Providence, Rhode Island — resign. He was a 2001 Columbus Day grand marshal, and we all know about Columbus: he brought us racism, homophobia, smallpox… you could trace the beginnings of Halliburton back to Columbus’ arrival.”
“TV anchors do look alike. There’s a cookie-cutter formula; they all look like Ken dolls. Have you ever seen a bald anchor? You have to have at least a 13-inch part in your hair to get a Drive-By anchor job.”
“So it may well be that we misidentified the anchor who did the report on me. Cookie, you know, this would be easy for me to blame you, and a lesser boss would. But everybody can make a mistake — except me.”
“Now the Democrats are subpoenaing Condoleezza Rice! By the way, look at the trees that we are destroying –subpoenas are paper. And this is a supposed environmental crowd.”
“Whatever evolutions have taken place in this country, we have not reached the point where the US population en masse despises the US military, mocks its members, or has no respect for its family members. But the Democrats reached that point long ago.”
“Has the media ever told you how many of the enemy we’re killing? No. Why? It’s real simple: it would demonstrate our effectiveness.”
“Part and parcel of the liberal vision is to look out across the landscape and see misery (otherwise there’s no reason for you to exist as a liberal). And then you have to blame other people for it.”
“The Senate as we speak is voting on defeat in Iraq; the House already has done so. I know you wonder why in the world there is no outrage from the American people about what the Democrats are doing, but that’s what elections are for — just be patient.”
“Christmas stuff is only going to be on the big screen if Tim Allen is in it.”
