“To hell with the judiciary getting involved in national security! There’s nothing in the Constitution that gives them that right, and there’s nothing in the Constitution says you have to extend them that right!”
“‘Process’ is for intellectuals. ‘Process’ is for a bunch of people who aren’t accustomed to getting things done. ‘Process’ is for people who want to tell everybody how smart they are, but never have to face accountability because they never implement anything. Process, shmocess.”
“New York Times today: ‘Appeals Court Rules for Wal-Mart in Maryland Health Care Case.’ This in and of itself is fabulous. I detested this law from the moment I heard these arrogant, condescending, uh, ‘male body parts’ propose it.”
“Has anybody seen Bill Clinton lately? I just saw the most amazing story: there’s a female chimpanzee in some zoo that’s pregnant, but all of the male chimpanzees in this zoo are sterile.”
“The AP has started a miniature anal exam of Barak Obama. They said, ‘He voted against requiring medical care for aborted fetuses who survive.’ May I read that to you again? ‘He voted against requiring medical care for aborted fetuses who survive.'”
“I’m going to infuriate some of you people, but smoking looks cool. Look — Dawn’s face is turning four shades of red! I’m not saying it is cool; I’m saying it can be made to look cool.”
“You can make smoking look cool, but you can’t make choking your mistress look cool. Well, Obama could, but nobody else.”
“Live sex on your TV? Snerdley, you know about this? Been doing it on the web for ten years? Well, forgive me for not being aware of this kind of absolute perversion and debauchery! Besides, I wouldn’t know about this until Obama did it — and if Obama did it, he could make it look cool.”
“You can always count on Mike Ditka.”
