“No, I’m not going to take credit for the Philadelphia Eagles’ victory yesterday. I would love to, but I don’t think the Lions could stop laughing all day at those stupid throw-back uniforms the Eagles wore. Did you see those things? For crying out loud!”
“To all of you new castrati at Columbia University and at Harvard andYale, let me tell you the truth: it doesn’t really take much courage to speak in this country. You know where it does take a lot of courage to speak? Iran.”
“While in Sacramento, I also took applications for a California mistress. There were a couple of big screens that erupted from the crowd at that point.”
“I once took my car to a mechanic who had a plastic Jesus on the cash register, and I said, ‘A-ha, this is an honest guy.’ He told me my car needed a new ‘disgronificator’ and that it would be 800 bucks. Well, there’s no such thing as a ‘disgronificator.'”
“New York Daily News: ‘Bill Clinton Boasts That World Leaders Are Pulling for Hillary.’ Yeah — Robert Mugabe, Osama Bin Laden, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Il, and Fidel Castro.”
“If I were an elected official of this country and somebody like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, state sponsor of terror, started to mimic my talking points, I’d privately get mad — but I don’t know if the Democrats have the ability to be embarrassed by this.”
“Mahmoud Ahmadinejad could keynote the 2008 Democrat National Convention. I mean, did Pelosi meet him at the airport? Was she part of the official greeting party? Was Kucinich out there?”
“Our quest on this program is to create as many informed, educated, and motivated people as possible. And in addition to understanding conservative principles, it is imperative that you understand the truth about today’s liberals: they’re worse than they have ever been.”
“Wasn’t it a man who invented the brassiere?”
