RUSH: Folks, would you believe I have been raked over the coals. Remember this story we had yesterday toward the end of the program that indoor heating has led to a bunch of overweight, obese people? So I report the story, and then I suggest wait ’til Michelle Obama hears about this, she’s gonna show up and try to take away our furnaces. I have been raked over the coals by some outfit called Politics USA. They think that’s one of the meanest things that I’ve ever said, how can I be so stupid? Wait ’til you hear this. It’s hilarious.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
All right, Politicususa. It’s an obscure leftist blog, serving my purposes well today. They say they do ‘Real Liberal Politics.’ Headline: ‘Rush Limbaugh Insanely Claims Michelle Obama Is Coming to Get Your Furnace — On his radio show today, Rush Limbaugh insanely claimed that because indoor heating contributes to obesity, Michelle Obama will take away home heating. He said, ‘If indoor heating contributes to obesity, and if obesity is the number one problem facing America’s kids, the next step is not to call Michelle Obama, because if you do that, your heating will be taken away from you.’
‘Limbaugh used a study by the University College London that found reduced exposure to cold may impact the body’s ability to maintain a healthy weight to smear First Lady Michele Obama with a new conspiracy theory. After reading the article on the air Limbaugh said, ‘If indoor heating contributes to obesity, and if obesity is the number one problem facing America’s kids, the next step is not to call Michelle Obama, because if you do that, your heating will be taken away from you. Here is the audio courtesy of Media Matters…’ So Media Matters took it seriously.
‘Limbaugh used a study by the University College London that found reduced exposure to cold may impact the body’s ability to maintain a healthy weight to smear First Lady Michele Obama with a new conspiracy theory. After reading the article on the air Limbaugh said, ‘If indoor heating contributes to obesity, and if obesity is the number one problem facing America’s kids, the next step is not to call Michelle Obama, because if you do that, your heating will be taken away from you. We’re gonna get government regulated thermostats, but that’s, look they’re talking about indoor heating, not a little or a lot, they’re just talking about the existence.
‘In order for this theory, if you take it out to the logical conclusion, you gotta get rid of furnaces, and well kids in the streets, they don’t have this problem. They don’t have an indoor heating. They’re already saving the planet by freezing out there. These people are dead serious. Well, furnace tax[.] [T]hat could be a set up for a furnace tax. Who knows? It is from the College of London.’ See folks, this is why no one should ever do drugs. Rush Limbaugh managed to take an obscure university study about heat, obesity, and the body’s ability to expend energy, and turn that into Michelle Obama is coming to take away your furnace…’
(laughing) This is hilarious. Tweaking these people, folks, is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. ‘Rush seems to be ignoring the fact that even if the First Lady had something against indoor heating, which I’m sure she doesn’t, the First Lady doesn’t have the power to take away anybody’s anything. The first lady has no formal powers. She is just the wife of the President of the United States. As if I need to say this,’ this guy writing for his audience, ‘Michelle Obama is not coming to take away our furnaces, wood burners, space heaters, home heating oil, fireplaces, flints, and sticks, two rocks that we rub together…’
She’s coming to take away your food. She goes to Walmart, tells ’em what they have to sell and what they can’t sell at what price. This was all in a discussion of, ‘How many ever heard of Michelle Obama five years ago? Now all of a sudden she is the nation’s foremost health expert. She is the nation’s foremost food expert,’ and why? Not because she’s an expert but simply because she’s the first lady, and… (laughing) These people have no… It’s a waste of time to even explain it but they obviously have no sense of humor.
You take what’s obviously — and they have no sense of satire or parody. But Michelle Obama is taking over school menus. She’s doing everything they can. That’s her cause is obesity, so it makes total sense to say, ‘If she figures this out, if obesity really matters, if the best way to fix it is to make people freeze, then let’s make ’em freeze,’ ’cause what’s important? I think the problem is these people are too absurd themselves to even understand absurdity. They are incapable of understanding the whole concept of illustrating absurdity by being absurd.