RUSH: After those hearings yesterday, folks, I think Goldman Sachs is gonna have a new name: Obama Goldman Sachs. May as well be Obama Goldman — look, Blankfein supports financial reform legislation.
In a press release late Tuesday, ‘Wall Street’s most powerful and prestigious investment banking and securities firm, Goldman Sachs, made a blockbuster announcement, taking everybody except Rush Limbaugh by surprise, Goldman Sachs revealed it was taking on a new senior partner, Barack Obama. As of today the new firm will be known as Obama Goldman Sachs. This stunning, overt marriage of big government and big business is sure to roil markets for the foreseeable future as Wall Street absorbs the news. Market watchers are betting shares of Obama Goldman Sachs will experience a nifty bounce despite the fact that President Obama knows nothing about investment banking, much less the private sector. Experts suggest that Obama’s lack of understanding of businesses and the economy will be offset due to his almost unlimited power to regulate markets, tax competitors, and print money. Details of the arrangement were not readily available.
‘When asked for comment, Obama spokesman Robert Gibbs said, ‘Pound sand. We’re in charge of banks and mortgages, car companies, taxes and spending. And with Lindsey Graham’s help, we’re soon going to have total control over the energy markets, plus we got billions in slush funds at our disposal, so we can do whatever the hell we want to do whenever the hell we want to do it to whomever the hell we want. We’re a big F-ing deal, like the president said, we won, deal with it.’ That was the report from Associated Propagandists reporting on the new Wall Street firm Obama Goldman Sachs. I know it was funny. That’s why I’m host.
BREAK TRANSCRIPT
RUSH: Last night in Washington on Capitol Hill, Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, the Goldman Sachs — I’m sorry, the Obama Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein — testified. During the Q&A, Republican Senator Tom Coburn said, ‘Do you still maintain support for this financial regulation reform bill?’
BLANKFEIN: I’m generally supportive. Financial reform is absolutely —
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: You know, is essential, and I’ll say, ummm, that last week, eh, in New York I listened to a speech by, uh, Barack Obama at Wall Street —
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: and one of the points he made because I said it myself.
RUSH: Stop the tape a second. Cue this back to the top. There are some things in this I just heard and you heard ’em too, somebody is sucking up during this sound bite. That’s what you’re hearing. Here, play it again.
BLANKFEIN: I’m generally supportive. Financial reform is absolutely…
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: You know, is essential, and I’ll say, ummm, that last week, eh, in New York I listened to a speech by, uh, Barack Obama at Wall Street —
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: — and one of the points he made because I said it myself.
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: He said that the biggest beneficiaries of reform will be Wall Street itself —
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: — because proper reform will make the markets safer and — and –and then I’ll add my own piece. —
RUSH: (slurping)
BLANKFEIN: — The biggest risks that financial institutions have are with each other.
RUSH: (kissing)
BLANKFEIN: And so to the extent that that’s all made safer I think that we’ll — America will be a big beneficiary but specifically we will as well.
RUSH: Translation: ‘Please, ple-ee-ease join our firm and leave me in charge. Please!’ Last night on the Charlie Rose Show he spoke with Newsweek editor-at-large Evan Thomas about the Goldman Sachs hearings. Charlie Rose said, ‘You saw no one defending Goldman Sachs, except the Goldman Sachs executives.’
THOMAS: It’s hard to feel sorry for Goldman Sachs, but there’s a Stalinist show trial aspect to this.
ROSE: Stalinist show trial.
THOMAS: W-ee-eell, they pour these guys up and they wag their finger at them. The deck is stacked against Goldman.
RUSH: Even Evan Thomas. Yeah, ‘there’s a Stalinist show trial up there,’ but it was deserved! They deserved it.
• FOXNews: Goldman Sachs Executives Grilled on Capitol Hill