RUSH: Let’s go back to the archives, ladies and gentlemen. We have a seven-and-a-half minute segment here from the era of this program around Dan’s Bake Sale.
(BEGIN ARCHIVE CLIP)
CALLER: Hello to Dan Hubbard in Dallas, Oregon, who turned me on to the show.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Yeah.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Wait a minute. He’s sending you his used Limbaugh Letters?
CALLER: Well, Xeroxed copies.
RUSH ARCHIVE: I’ll tell you what we’ll do. We will send you a subscription and charge it to our production budget. We’ll take it out of Johnny Donovan’s budget. (laughing) Hang on, can you?
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Don’t go away. I’ll tell you what, I’ll tell you what let’s do, I’ve got a better idea. Dan, are you still there?
CALLER: Yeah, still here.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Okay. Dan, here’s what we’re going to do.
CALLER: Okay.
RUSH ARCHIVE: You must organize a bake sale. Have a bake sale. Are you married?
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Does your wife bake?
CALLER: Well, yeah, but she hates your show. That’s another reason I can’t get the letter, she won’t let us put the finances to it.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Then it is up to you to go out and earn money independently from your wife. So have her bake some stuff and don’t tell her why. This is a great way to get even, bake some stuff. Also, for this to work, your friend is going to have to stop enabling you. Your friend is going to have to stop making copies of the Limbaugh Letter and sending them to you.
CALLER: Okay.
RUSH ARCHIVE: And if he does not stop, you must not accept. Now, I’m serious about this. I want you to get the bake sale, the baked goods, I want you to put ’em on display wherever you work or wherever you want to do this, you’re out there raising money. Have somebody take a picture of it so that we know you’ve done it. We’ll put a picture in the newsletter of you showing how hard you worked based upon the desire you felt to have a subscription. You will appreciate it so much more than if we just acted sorry for you and gave you a subscription.
Fran, hi. Welcome to the Rush Limbaugh program. Have about a minute here, but I understand you want to donate to the guy out in Fort Collins?
RUSH ARCHIVE: What do you do?
CALLER: We’re offset printers.
RUSH ARCHIVE: So you want to print the fliers advertising this guy’s bake sale?
CALLER: Yes.
RUSH ARCHIVE: You gotta ship ’em out there.
CALLER: Yeah. So what?
RUSH ARCHIVE: Does your husband know you’re doing this?
CALLER: Yes, yes. I’m trying to listen to him. He’s in the back running the presses. T-shirts and printing for the bake sale.
RUSH ARCHIVE: He wants to donate some T-shirts?
CALLER: Yeah, we’ll ship ’em to Colorado. I don’t know if you can hear him —
RUSH ARCHIVE: Yeah, I can barely hear him —
CALLER: He’s walking around with the headphones. He’s in Rush land.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Root Outdoor Advertising, owner of all outdoor billboards in Fort Collins, has offered to paint, design, and display a billboard for free advertising Dan’s Bake Sale. We have heard from a printing company, Curry Printing in New Jersey. They have offered to print fliers and T-shirts and ship these to Fort Collins, Colorado, to help advertise and promote the bake sale. We have also heard from, just now, Kathy Abernathy, who is the general manager, runs Brennan’s, my favorite restaurant in the world, one of my favorites. I have a lot of favorites, but this is up at the top five, top two, whatever, Brennan’s in New Orleans, Kathy and Steve Abernathy have donated the following. All of this to generate 29 bucks to buy a subscription to the newsletter. (laughing) To think this guy called here all depressed. They have donated chocolate suicide cake from Brennan’s.
Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever tasted chocolate suicide cake. I don’t eat desserts very often at all. I seldom consume sugar, but I have tasted this stuff, and it’s dangerous. Not only is Brennan’s going to send some chocolate suicide cake to the bake sale, depending on the day of the bake sale, they’ll send a chef out there, they’ll send chef Mike. This guy prepares some of the best Southern Cajun dishes you’ve ever tasted. Chef Mike is one of the leading chefs of New Orleans, and here his services have just been offered, and, depending on the day, he’s going to fly out to Fort Collins, a bake sale! You know what’s happening now? People are calling in and they want the address of this bake sale so they can do mail orders! (laughing) So we have Mick from the high mountains of New Mexico on the phone. Mick, I’m glad you called. Welcome to the Rush Limbaugh program. How are you, sir?
CALLER: Hello, cowboy from up here in Fort Collins.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Yes.
CALLER: We going to his bake sale.
RUSH ARCHIVE: You’re going to go to his bake sale? (laughing)
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Wait a second, you mean you have a donation for Dan’s Bake Sale —
CALLER: I do.
RUSH ARCHIVE: — in Fort Collins?
RUSH ARCHIVE: (laughing) Mick, nobody will show up if you do that.
CALLER: Oh, no, they’d love it, you know, you put a lot of Heinz 57 on it and you cook it in Coors beer. And they love it.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Mick, Mick, you’re turning away customers here. We don’t need this kind of help at the bake sale. You’re going to bake poodles?
CALLER: We’re gonna make ’em yes. I’ll tell you what I’ll do, if you want me to change that, well mama can make some Indian bread.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Yeah. Now we’re talking.
CALLER: And we can do some of that.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Now, what kind of icing do you put on baked poodle?
CALLER: Gravy. Gravy and creamed potatoes and hot biscuits.
RUSH ARCHIVE: Oh, yes.
CALLER: I’ll let you go, buddy, I had to throw my oar in.
RUSH ARCHIVE: (laughing) I flew in about 12:30 local time, which was an hour-and-a-half after the bake sale began. We then choppered over the bake sale area and when you see the aerial view of the people down there — and they say the crowd was 20,000 — you’re going to find that the estimate there is way, way low. I’m telling you, nobody does things the way we did this. We rolled the dice. We didn’t know what was going to happen. We just have faith in this audience. I have so much faith in the people of America who are this audience. Think of the economic boost the United States got because of this event and it wasn’t one government program, it wasn’t one bit of policy from Washington or from Bill Clinton that caused this to happen.
RUSH: Dan’s Bake Sale. It all got started when Dan called and told me his friend was making copies of the Limbaugh Letter, a copyright violation, ’cause the wife wouldn’t let him buy a subscription. And he wanted me to give him a freebie and, you know, these little kids are running around at that time doing bake sales, sending the proceeds to Clinton to retire the national debt, and Clinton was keeping the money and praising this as good civics and good citizenship. So that’s where the bake sale idea came from. And all of this happened to help this guy get $29.95, and this guy, with all of this that went on at his benefit, this guy ran out of his own baked goods in five minutes. In five or ten minutes the stuff that he had done was all gone, and then Dan tried to do Dan’s Bake Sales all over the country on his own, which, I mean he didn’t have a platform. I mean, he had a golden opportunity to score big with the bake sale, but he ran out of his baked goods very quickly. But there were 65,000 people there, there was not one mess. When we were finished and everybody left, there was not a mess. There wasn’t one arrest, 70,000 people, not one arrest, not one. It was a great day.