CALLER: Rush, it’s great to talk with you. God bless ya.
RUSH: Thank you.
CALLER: Well, your opening monologue, you were talking about boy-girl baby showers and mixed-gender wedding party attendants and all that. Well, I have two family members, God bless them, that did exactly that, and the first one was the mixed-gender wedding party and my daughter —
RUSH: Now, wait a second. What is…? Can we speak English here?
CALLER: Oh?
CALLER: Well, the groom had a best babe instead of a best man, and she had —
RUSH: Oh, oh. When you said ‘party,’ I thought you meant like a pre-wedding bash.
CALLER: No, no, no, no, no.
RUSH: So she had a mixed-gender ceremony.
CALLER: Yes.
RUSH: And the groom had a best babe?
CALLER: That’s right.
RUSH: Oh, we’re in trouble.
CALLER: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she wasn’t dressed differently —
RUSH: Let me tell you something. If I were going to get — God strike me dead — married again, and I told the lucky woman that my best man was going to be a woman, I can’t imagine. I can’t imagine that going over with a lot of happiness. ‘Oh, yeah, great idea! Let’s drink to it.’
CALLER: My daughter, she’s beautiful and intelligent, but she is the victim of a very, very liberal education, and when this metrosexual came along and wanted to marry her, she just thought it was great.
RUSH: Right, ’cause she could run the guy.
CALLER: Uh, hmm. Eh. Not really. You know, it’s more the other way around, truly.
RUSH: Oh, the metrosexual runs her.
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH: I never knew a metrosexual that ran anybody.
CALLER: This one does, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he holds his wine glass by the base.
RUSH: Holds his wine glass by the base?
CALLER: The base, not the stem or the bowl, but the base.
RUSH: Oh, isn’t that just peachy.
CALLER: Oh, yeah, yeah. He’s kind of femme, actually.
CALLER: Femme.
RUSH: Kind of femme?
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH: Like, as in effeminate?
CALLER: Yeah.
RUSH: Yeah. And your daughter fell for the guy?
CALLER: I don’t get it, I just don’t get it.
RUSH: So, did you say anything to her about it?
CALLER: Uh, (snorts) not directly. Not directly. But he has a bunch of friends —
RUSH: If you didn’t say anything directly, how did you say it, and to whom?
CALLER: Well, I talked to my husband, and —
RUSH: Did he talk to them?
CALLER: And he talked to her.
RUSH: Yeah? And a lot of good that did because they’re now married, right?
CALLER: That’s right, yeah.
RUSH: Are they happily married?
CALLER: Apparently so.
RUSH: What do you mean, apparently so? They either are or they aren’t. You should be able to tell this; you’re a parent.
CALLER: Well, see, that’s the thing, Rush, is that it’s all so confusing to me.
RUSH: And you think the mixed-gender wedding led to this?
CALLER: Well, no, no. I think that whatever is up with him and the liberalism in this state-led up to the formation of these two, and the meeting of these two, and the OK for this mixed-gender wedding attendants thing.
RUSH: Yeah, I know. It is what it is. Traditions die hard. You know, there’s a lot more than just this part of our culture that’s under assault — and you know what those things are. Anyway, look, I appreciate the call, Madam X. Madam X? Has she called here before, Snerdley? A long time ago. Okay, I thought Madam X was familiar.