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Dangit! A Wobby Chaos Operative

by Rush Limbaugh - Jun 3,2008

RUSH: Karen in Missoula, Montana, I’m glad you called. You’re next on the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Hi. How are you?

RUSH: Fine. Thank you.

CALLER: I didn’t want to say that because everybody says that. Cool cat you are. You’re a cool cat. Listen, I need a cleansing.

RUSH: You need a cleansing?

CALLER: I feel like I’ve committed adultery and I never have committed adultery, but I don’t know what it really feels like, but I went and voted for Hillary today.

RUSH: Oh, you’re an Operation Chaos operative, are you?

CALLER: Well, I didn’t think I would turn out to be one, but I am.

RUSH: You voted for Hillary, you’re a Republican, but you registered — it’s an open primary there so you —

CALLER: Yeah. They give you two ballots, they give you one for Republican, one for a Democrat and you go in and they say the one that you don’t fill out, you have to put in un-whatever, in an envelope, and — and I —

RUSH: Why did you do this, Karen? Because I must say that there were no orders from headquarters —

CALLER: I know.

RUSH: — Operation Chaos, for Montana.

CALLER: Well, one of the reasons I did it, because I talked to the morning show guy today, and he said he was going to do it, and then he didn’t, he took a nap. So I said, well, gosh dang it, I have to do it now, and so I went in there, and I did it.

RUSH: Well, look it, I knew there would be some residual operatives that would want to continue the strategy and the orders of previous dates, but, you know, all you’ve gotta do is correct this by, when the general election comes around, voting for who you really want and you’ll be fine.

CALLER: Right, I said that to myself and I looked at the ballots of the Republicans and most of them were running unopposed and I thought, well, okay, that’s no big deal, so I went ahead and just filled in for Hillary, not any of the other Democrat stuff, and it made me sick. Now I’m going to McDonald’s to get a double hamburger with mustard only and fries.

RUSH: Why would you do mustard only?

CALLER: Because I don’t like all the other junk that they put on it.

RUSH: Oh, I thought the mustard might have some medicinal effects in cleansing you because of the filthy feeling for having voted for —

CALLER: Well, I’m going to order fries this time. I don’t usually order fries because they’re fattening, but now I’m going to have them.

RUSH: Whatever it takes. You know, one meal is not going to kill you.

CALLER: I know.

RUSH: It takes a lot of meals to cause problems. One meal is not going to kill you, like one cigar, one cigarette is not going to kill you.

CALLER: Rush, I just don’t want Obama to be president because I can’t stand to picture the thought of our military having to salute him.

RUSH: Well, calm down. Everything’s going to be fine.

CALLER: It makes me sad.

RUSH: Don’t be sad. This is a day of glory!

CALLER: Okay.

RUSH: This is a day of glory. You have participated in one of the most phenomenal political operations in the history of the world! You have participated in Operation Chaos! You are a proud operative here. You need to be beaming with pride. When you go in to McDonald’s today and get your double hamburger with mustard only ’cause you don’t like all the other stuff and your French fries, you need to tell ’em you are a proud Operation Chaos operative; that you’ve been suspending a lot of energy and you have come in for rations.

CALLER: All right!

RUSH: Go for it!

CALLER: You better believe I will now.

RUSH: All right, Karen, buck up out there!

CALLER: And — oh, well, I forgot was I was going to say. Dang it.

RUSH: Well, you’re more than welcome.

CALLER: I love ya.

RUSH: Take care. We’ll be back after this, ladies and gentlemen. It’s troubling to hear the Operation Chaos operatives go wobbly in their psyche. If that’s happening to you, let me know. We’ll fix it immediately.