Rush’s Qualifications for President

RUSH: The primary season is about to get real here, folks, and I think it’s time for me, your host, to be more forthcoming. I know many of you have been eagerly awaiting an endorsement from me, and I’m not going to make one in a direct fashion. It’s not who I endorse or who I don’t endorse. What I’d rather discuss today as we move into the real primary season with first votes of the primaries to be cast in the cauci tomorrow night, I want to discuss with you my qualifications, the qualifications that I possess that suggest that it is I, El Rushbo, who can lead you through this difficult period. Let me tell you. I want to give you a list of my qualifications and my experience. Everybody’s talking about Leno and Letterman coming back tonight. Big whoop. The story ought to be, Rush Limbaugh back today. For eight years folks, from 1993 through the end of the year 2000, I was there, with Bill Clinton, every day. I advised Clinton on every key issue. I was working behind the scenes to run the country and add to his legacy. I’m not saying he listened to me, but I was there, as were you.

Now, I doubt that there was any positive that came out of the eight years of Clinton that I didn’t actually include my input on. Remember welfare reform? Do you think welfare reform would have happened, ladies and gentlemen, without me on this program advising Bill Clinton in my own way? He listened to his wife twice, the woman who claims to have all the experience and vetoed welfare reform. This is just a couple examples here. But the third time, when he signed it, who do you think was his advisor? Not in the White House, not on his staff, who do you think put Bill Clinton over the top on welfare reform? What about NAFTA? When Bill Clinton signed NAFTA and his wife, Hillary was against it, somebody changed his mind. Who do you think did that? Remember Algore in the debate with Ross Perot, cited me as a distinguished American in favor of NAFTA. And I’m saying to you, ladies and gentlemen, that because of this experience I am more qualified to advise you on this election than any political commentator or social commentator in history.

As a matter of fact, I am experienced enough should I choose to lead the country from Day One in the White House. You doubt me, Mr. Snerdley? Well, the records are there. All we need is a nod from Bill Clinton to release them. They are no doubt tucked away in the Clinton Library and Massage Parlor, he and Hillary discussing this and that and his advisors discussing this and that. We know they listened to this program each and every day, Dick Morris has told me so. (doing Clinton impression) ‘What’s Limbaugh saying about this today? Do you think we ought to do welfare reform? We don’t want Limbaugh on our case every day, can’t handle that, we got Lewinsky out there, it’s a big enough problem.’ The influence this program exerted on Bill Clinton, should I have chosen to run for president would qualify me more than his wife, ladies and gentlemen. But when those records are released you will see how much of a factor I was in the Clinton White House and how successful I was as the real co-president.