Caller Spots Iowa Dittoheads

Katie in Winona, Iowa, nice to have you with us on the EIB Network. Hello.

CALLER: Hey, Rush, it’s Monona, with an M.

RUSH: What did I — whoa, whoa. What did I say?

CALLER: You said Winona.

RUSH: Oh, well, you know, the computer monitor, I have to tell you this, Katie, the computer monitor, actually the program, our call screener program dates back to the eighties. It looks like your old DOS computer, with the green and so forth, and so a W looks like an M without my glasses on. I don’t have my glasses on.

CALLER: It’s Monona with an M. That’s okay. You look wonderful, I’m watching on the Dittocam. I can see that you’re rested.

RUSH: (kissing sound) Thank you.

CALLER: I’m glad you’re back, and we missed you terribly. But while you were gone what I was doing was calling people on the television, fellow Republicans, please, to remind them to go to the caucus.

RUSH: Are you part of the party apparatus?

CALLER: Yes, I am.

RUSH: Okay.

CALLER: I have been hung up on, sworn at. Rush, you can’t believe it. I got to the point where I would rather be waterboarded than make another call. And then I got one of your people, and I immediately knew this was a Rush listener, so I included it in my question, ‘Are you by any chance a Rush listener?’ And this woman said to me, ‘Every single day.’ So I added that on my script, and when I came to somebody that was kind, intelligent, informed, pleasant, and willing to chat, I found out, I asked the question, ‘Do you listen to Rush?’ And the answer, every time, was yes. And I was right, every single time. Your people are so obvious, you know who they are. You should be proud.

RUSH: You know, I am. That’s encouraging.

CALLER: It encouraged me, too.

RUSH: That is so great that you could tell simply by their level of intelligence, their degree to which they were informed, and their manner, their politeness, their deportment —

CALLER: Absolutely.

RUSH: — that they were Rush listeners.

CALLER: Yes. They’re a dead giveaway. They used words like — I mean somebody even mentioned the Constitution. I heard the phrase ‘stuck on stupid.’ I knew who they were.

RUSH: ‘Stuck on stupid.’ (laughing)

CALLER: They’re wonderful.

RUSH: Now, but if I were not inclined to be the optimist that I am, if I were not inclined to be pessimistic, you know what my reaction to this call would be?

CALLER: What?

RUSH: Well, I don’t understand this, every Republican you’re calling ought to be a Rush listener!

CALLER: That’s why I called. And not only that, every Republican that I called should have acted like a Rush listener, they should have treated me kindly, you know?

RUSH: Well, I’m sure that a majority of the Republicans you called were, in fact, Rush listeners, correct?

CALLER: Quite a few. Yes, quite a few.

RUSH: Nice hedge.

CALLER: That’s the only way I could keep going. I’d like the people in Iowa to get up off their butts tomorrow night and go to caucus, you know? Show those people —

RUSH: Well, now, wait a second, now, I understand what you’re saying, but I kind of like the fact that people who don’t care don’t go. The last thing in the world we need is a busload of people that don’t care going in because they’ve been paid to go or show up because they’ve been told what to do. I say if you people in Iowa don’t care, stay home. The Orange Bowl is on tomorrow night, have fun, if you don’t care.

CALLER: Maybe they’d learn something if they’d go.

RUSH: No.

CALLER: You don’t think so, huh?

RUSH: No.

CALLER: Anyway, you saved me. I couldn’t have gotten through those phone calls without you.

RUSH: I appreciate it. Katie, thanks so much for the call.

CALLER: You’re so welcome.

RUSH: One thing about the Hawkeye Cauci, you gotta understand what it is, and for those of you in Iowa, I’m not being critical here. But it’s not like an all-day thing where you have some free time and you can go vote. The Hawkeye Caucis start at 6:30 p.m., so if you work the night shift at McDonald’s or the night shift anywhere else, you can’t go. If you work in a hospital, if your job has you at work at 6:30 p.m., you cannot go. It’s not like open ballot elections or ballot voting place elections where you take five or six minutes if you have them and go. It starts at 6:30 p.m. and goes at least an hour, sometimes two. You can’t just walk in a half hour, an hour through the thing, you gotta be when they start. If you’re out of town — there’s no absentees or any of that.