“Everybody is upset in my e-mails. Even the left is cracking up and can’t get their act together. There’s a general sense of unrest out there, and it’s in both parties.”
“Barack Obama slipped in a compliment of sorts about the Breck Girl. He said John Edwards is ‘kind of cute.’ You know, I am convinced that our use of the ‘I am Woman’ tune sung by the Breck Girl — John Edwards — has filtered down to the Obama campaign.”
“‘I was responsible for the 9/11 operation from A to Z,’ Khalid Sheik Mohammed said. This has to propel our licensed merchandise business at Club Gitmo. I mean, the treatment down there is so wonderful that these people forget their hate and confess to everything!”
“The View is just as dangerous to American women as Oprah is. That show is just creating a bunch of mind-numbed robot sponges cramming in the Twinkies.”
“Rosie O’Donnell is a blithering ignoramus. She’s stupid! Look; I understand certain lingo, and for those of you out there who think and speak this way, Rosie ‘has issues.’ And they are huge.”
“Where is the action on Congressman Jefferson, for example? Why only the slap on the wrist to Sandy Burglar? I think that if you’re a liberal Democrat you have to look at Alberto Gonzales and love him. He’s not doing anything!”
“Mrs. Bill Clinton said she’s going to keep troops in Iraq to go after Al-Qaeda and watch the ethnic cleansing. She’s not going to stop it — she’s just going to watch it. Folks, you try to make sense of this. I cannot.”
“You just can’t say enough for waterboarding, can you? That stuff works. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has admitted to everything except the JFK assassination!”
“We had the story yesterday about how the highest court in France said that gay marriage is illegal. Now, something doesn’t jibe here — until you understand that a large population of militant Islamists live in France and put that together with the natural tendency the French have to surrender.”
“I’m in an Al Sharpton mood today.”
