Caller’s Funny Jury Duty Scheme

RUSH: Mike, Deerwood, Minnesota, welcome to the EIB Network, sir, hello.

CALLER: Hello, Rush, thanks for having me on your show. It’s great to talk to you.

RUSH: Thank you, sir. Appreciate that.

CALLER: Yeah, see, I have get-out-of-jury-duty story I’d like to share with you.

RUSH: Can I take a guess as to what it might be?

CALLER: Yeah, you can go ahead and try.

RUSH: I think you probably just mentioned that you are a Rush Limbaugh listener and they excuse you.

CALLER: No, I was a little more creative than that. I used the liberals’ own rules and regulations against them.

RUSH: How so?

CALLER: I was notified in three separate letters. The first two letters, the first two times I was notified, they canceled on me, and what irritated me was that in the letter they stated that they were going to pay me $20 a day, and if I didn’t show up for jury duty, that they were going to charge me with a misdemeanor, and I thought to myself, ‘Well, $20 a day? That’s not minimum wage.’ So I called down to the county, and I asked them. I says, ‘How come you guys don’t have to pay me minimum wage to come down there and work for you?’ and they said, ‘Well, I don’t know.’ So I got hold of the court administrator, and he didn’t even let me ask the question. So I was really irritated by then, so I went on the OSHA website, and I filed a complaint. I explained to OSHA that the county was threatening to charge me with criminal activity if I wouldn’t go work for them for less than minimum wage. Well, I got a contact awhile later, and they were kind of dumbfounded. They were telling me, ‘Well, we don’t handle this sort of thing.’ I said, ‘What do you mean you guys don’t handle this? You’re telling me that if I was an employer, and I threatened somebody with criminal repercussions if they wouldn’t work for me for $20 a day, you guys wouldn’t put me in jail as fast as you could?’ They were just kind of reeled back on their heels, and I never heard from the county since, because I put that court administrator’s name right on the complaint.

RUSH: You named the court administrator? (laughing)

CALLER: Yes. So basically the liberals like observer a they like all these regulations, they like the minimum wage, so I used it against them. If they would have been willing to pay me minimum wage, of course I would have showed up but the court system, here they are. They want you to go down there and base your decision on the law when they themselves aren’t willing to follow it: the people who are running the courts.

RUSH: I have to say, this is pretty brilliant. It was very creative. The only thing I’m confused on, it’s irrelevant to your story, but you got three jury summonses, and what did you say the first two? They canceled them on you?

CALLER: Yeah, yeah, they called me the day before I was supposed to show up and they canceled, and the third one they also did that, but I wasn’t going to take the chance of having my ducks lined up. The first one I got I immediately thought of that, and with all this illegal immigration nonsense going on and the government wasn’t enforcing those laws. I was going to hold ’em. You guys are going to enforce this one, with the minimum wage.

RUSH: Now, how long ago did all this happen, that you haven’t heard from them?

CALLER: The last I heard from them was in May.

RUSH: Oh, now, wait —

CALLER: And like within six weeks, you know, six weeks prior to that, that’s what I got three. Like six weeks prior to that, I got three summonses.

RUSH: Let me warn you to be very careful. Don’t doubt me here. There hasn’t been enough time gone by since May for you to rest assured that you will not hear from them.

CALLER: I know. I know.

RUSH: At this very moment they are plotting how to deal with you. You’re in the computer flagged as a troublemaker.

CALLER: Yes, yes.

RUSH: Proudly so, I’m sure, on your part.

CALLER: I’m counting on it.

RUSH: Well, you’ll hear from them again.

CALLER: Well, I got a little better excuse now. I’m working down in Tampa, Florida, and I’ll be down here ’til probably the end of October building a construction project.

RUSH: Wait a minute. You’re working in Tampa? You’re not vacationing in Tampa?

CALLER: No, I’m working.

RUSH: What do you do for a living?

CALLER: I’m a construction superintendent.

RUSH: Construction superintendent. Well, good. All right. I appreciate the call. This is a funny story.

CALLER: Yes.

RUSH: I could just imagine these people being thrown for a loop at OSHA. OSHA getting a call about the legal system!