“I think the Academy Awards made global warming look like the joke that it is.”
“If we do pull out of Iraq, there might be a civil war in the whole country. Actually, I wouldn’t even call it a ‘civil war.’ I would just call it, ‘Al-Qaeda-will-run-in-there-and-do-their-best-to-take-over-the-whole-place-and-probably-have-some-sort-of-power-sharing-deal-with-Iran.'”
“As you people know, I normally do not watch the Epidemic Awards. But I did last night, and I don’t know why. Man, oh, man was that boring! My gosh, folks; it was embarrassing! All that talent, and it went to waste.”
“Compromise isn’t a principle and principle is not compromising — unless compromising advances the conservative agenda. When you give up some of your agenda just to compromise and get along, why, big boo-boo.”
“Algore got at least $3 million of free political airtime for his issue last night from ABC and the Oscar group; it was just one of the funniest things. My mouth was open for so long I was drooling because I didn’t have the energy to swallow.”
“Look: polygamy is still alive and well in parts of the Islamic world. Of course, there’s not one of them running for president — ahem — yet.”
“When I moved to New York in 1988 I had a goal, and that was to become the most listened-to person on radio — and I eschewed public-relations people. We didn’t go out and have all these giant campaigns to suggest that this show was hot; you made it hot.”
“Some of our ancestors scalped the Indians. By the way, the Indians are a great example of, ‘If you don’t control the borders, look what happens.'”
“Hillary’s spokesman Howard Wolfson dismissed references to President Clinton’s conduct as ‘under the belt.’ Does he know what he said? Of course Clinton’s conduct was ‘under the belt’! It was below the belt! There was no belt! That was the whole point!”
“Polygamy… I mean, how would you like to go home every night and have to have five discussions about your relationships? I’ve never understood it.”
