SUV Hates Dreamgirls

RUSH: Did you see this story up on Drudge? An SUV plowed into a movie theater! Yeah, they got a picture of it and everything. It was in Torrington, Connecticut. “Some moviegoers … got to see some real-life action unfold as they were watching the movie ‘Dreamgirls’ on Monday night. During the 7:00pm showing … a white sport utility vehicle smashed through a wall of the theater… [N]obody was hurt, even though the SUV came inches from some moviegoer heads.”
What do we take from this? The headline is: “SUV Plows Into Theater As Moviegoers Watch ‘Dreamgirls'” Well, there’s only one conclusion. SUVs hate musicals! You have to get to the last line here to find out that there was a driver: “Police charged the driver, 46-year-old Diletta Squires, with driving under the influence.” It doesn’t say “Driver Plows into Theater.” It says “SUV Plows into Theater.” The SUV is probably fed up with the hype about Dreamgirls and doesn’t like musicals anyway. Probably the driver was playing the sound track to Dreamgirls on the CD player inside the SUV; the SUV had had it and found a theater where the movie was playing and said, “Okay, take this!” It’s funny the way this stuff gets reported.