RUSH: We’ll start in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. This is Randy. Thank you for waiting, sir. Your turn. Hello.
CALLER: Thank you, Rush. God bless you from the carcinogenic capital of the world.
RUSH: Thank you, sir.
CALLER: I just wanted to call and make an observation. I’m concerned about you. Before the election, the Democrats were running around looking like characters out of a George Romero novel. They were just like chickens with their heads cut off, terrified, and it seems like you switched places with me psychologically. It’s like they’ve had scotch injections —
RUSH: Wait a second. What…?
CALLER: — and now you’re petrified.
RUSH: What are you talking about? What did I say, when did I say it, and about whom?
CALLER: I can hear it in your voice every time you talk about Nancy Pelosi and especially Hillary now. I think the thought of a Democratically controlled executive and legislative branch is just terrifying to you and nauseating. I can understand it, but, you know, your tone of voice, your whole mannerism, I think you should back up and may be take a vacation for a while, Rush. I’m worried about you.
RUSH: Nice try. You know, the simple fact of the matter is, I am the lone voice of reason here. I’m not panicked about Hillary. She puts her pants on one leg at a time like every other guy does. I’m the one that has to calm down my audience. The audience is constantly calling here worried about Hillary. Everywhere I go, people say (panting) “Rush! (hyperventilating) Can we beat Hillary?” Up until I saw the current crop of Republican candidates, I said yes. I’m not afraid of any of these people. I’m simply pointing out some things in the opening of the program. I think you misunderstood the passion in my voice, the excitement I was to be here for — what did he call it? — petrified and distraught. No, maybe in my haste and my desire and my rush to inform people, you, sir, inferred incorrectly that I am sitting here panicked. That’s certainly not the case. I was just trying to get people to understand what’s going on. Mrs. Clinton is “entitled” to this. She’s got this “conversation with America” now. I guarantee you what that’s about, that’s precisely so she doesn’t have to answer any hard questions. 
When has she anyway? When can you remember her being on TV answering any hard questions? Today she doesn’t get them! The press does not ask them. She’s got their testicles in a lockbox, and I’m telling you that it was the same thing with her New York Senate race, the listening tour in New York. That was designed to put the focus on her constituents, and so is this. Actually if there’s something out there to be upset, panicked, not even distraught, it’s that, people ask me, “Rush, who do you like in the Republican field?” The answer is nobody! There’s a story here in the LA Times: “Conservative Core Seeks a Contender — [A]s conservatives survey the 2008 field ? and, particularly, the early Republican front-runners ? many are despairing. Sen. John McCain of Arizona, former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney and former New York City Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani have all broken with conservative orthodoxy at one time or another. Many activists have neither forgiven nor forgotten.
“‘There’s absolutely no contender that is a bona fide conservative,’ said K.B. Forbes, who has worked for a number of conservative candidates and causes since the 1990s.” In this article, the criticism of the current Republican crop is they’re just a bunch of “insiders, squishes, and moderates,” ladies and gentlemen, which is why we have created a musical tribute to the dilemma.
(Playing of the song parody: “Where Have All the Conservatives Gone?”)
RUSH: The last I could tell, the conservatives are on the radio.