RUSH: Now, here’s audio sound bites. This is Obama. He has to ask Greg Craig, the White House counsel, for help here, signing the closing of Gitmo executive order.

OBAMA: (chiseling in marble sound effect) In order to effect the appropriate disposition of individuals currently detained by the Department of Defense at Guantanamo, uh, and promptly to close the detention facility at Guantanamo consistent with the national security and foreign policy interests of the United States and interests of justice, I hereby order. And we then we will then, uh, provide the process whereby Guantanamo will be closed no later than, uh, one year from now. We will be… Uhhh…. Ummm…. Is there a separate executive order, Greg, with respect to how we’re going to dispose of the detainees? Is that it, eh, uh, what we’re doing?

CRAIG: We’ll set up a process!

OBAMA: We will be, uh, setting up a process whereby this is going to be taking place.

RUSH: By the way, we are etching his words. We’re chiseling his words in marble, since that’s how CNN has portrayed the articulate pronouncements of President Obama. ‘By the way, Greg, what are we doing here? Separate executive order with respect to how we’re going to dispose of the detainees. Is that what we’re doing?’ ‘We will set up a process! We’ll set up a process. I’m sorry. I’ve also been asked not to be so critical ’til Obama really messes up. I know he just messed up, but I don’t think some of the dingleberries in this country quite understand how he screwed up yet, and if I didn’t tell ’em, they won’t know. We’re going to set up a process? Can I translate that? How would you translate that, ‘We’re going to set up a process for dealing with the people that are there now’? (interruption) That’s exactly right: We don’t have a clue what we’re doing. This is the ‘we don’t have a clue’ executive order. We don’t have a plan. We don’t have a plan. We’re going to take care of the plan during the next year. Political.

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RUSH: Here’s one more audio sound bite from Obama. Now, this is just this morning at the White House in the Oval Orifice, and Obama here is on the task force that they’re gonna use process to create to deal with the detainees that are going to end up being released from Guantanamo Bay. And once again, Greg Craig, the White House counsel, has to explain it to Obama in the midst of Obama’s announcement here. Greg Craig, as you know, sometimes we don’t know who he works for. Sometimes it’s the American government; sometimes it’s the Cuban government. I mean, he did represent the father (this means Castro) of the young Elian Gonzalez, who Janet Reno eventually saw to it was dispatched back to the slums and the authoritarian tyranny of Cuba. Here is Obama announcing what they’re going to do with the detainees.

OBAMA: (chiseling in marble sound effect) What we’re doing here is to set up a special interagency task force on detainee disposition. They are going to provide me with information in terms of how we are able to deal in the disposition of some of the detainees that may be currently in Guantanamo that we cannot transfer to other countries, who could pose a serious danger to the United States, uh, but, uh, we cannot try because of various problems related to evidence, uh, in a Article 3 court. So this task force is going to provide us with, uh, a series of recommendations on, uh, that. Is that correct, Greg?

CRAIG: That’s right. And detainee policy going forward.

OBAMA: And detainee policy going forward so that we don’t find ourselves in these kinds of situations, uh, in the future.

CRAIG: And there is clear guidance for the military as well.

OBAMA: And that we are providing clear guidance to our military in terms of having to do with it.

RUSH: Unbelievable here! What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to marvel at this? Am I supposed to sit here and marvel at how this new teamwork is taking place, about how the president is incorporating all these people? It sounds to me like… You know, folks, this is not much evidence to go on, but I’m sure we could find the audio sound bites of me in the past saying, ‘You know, there’s a part of me when I said I was conflicted about Obama, I’m not sure what’s going on. Does he just want to be president with everybody else doing all the work and he gets to just be the figurehead and play the big games?’ I don’t recall. Honestly, I don’t recall. I’m not saying it hasn’t happened. But somebody help me out here. Have we ever seen a president announce an executive order and have to turn to his counsel to explain what the hell the executive order is?

‘Cause it’s his order! He’s the president. It’s his executive order, but then is it his executive order? ‘Is that correct, Greg? This task force is going to provide us with a series of recommendations? Is that correct, Greg?’ ‘And detainee policy going forward,’ and then Obama repeats it, ‘and detainee policy going forward so that we don’t find ourselves in these kinds of situations in the future.’ Then Craig interrupts without even being asked, ‘and there is clear guidance for the military as well.’ And Obama says, ‘and we’re providing clear guidance for our military in terms of how to deal with this.’ What am I supposed to do? They shoulda just put it on the prompter. They absolutely shoulda just put it on the teleprompter, but then the press would report there was a teleprompter. It’s his executive order. And with Greg Craig in there… Remember, Greg Craig also as he needed as Bill Clinton’s lead attorney during the impeachment proceedings.

That was after he represented Castro and the father of Elian Gonzalez. Oh, this is… You know, I so want my president to do the right thing and for our country to succeed. This is not inspiring confidence. Is it? (interruption) What do you mean, ‘he hasn’t found his voice yet’? He hasn’t found his voice? This is the most articulate president we have ever elected? I know that’s what they said about Clinton when he screwed up in the first two years, ‘He’s still looking for his voice, still searching.’ All right. I don’t want to make too big a deal out of it. I just don’t recall a lawyer being in there, interrupting and being asked for guidance on what the president’s executive order. All I can tell you, folks, is none of this that you heard has the slightest thing to do with United States security.

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RUSH: You know how I know it never happened that Bush had to turn to Cheney or somebody and have the executive order he was signing explained to him? You know how I know that? Because if it had happened we would still be watching video of it today, because the whole template on Bush was that he’s stupid, that he’s a blockhead, that he’s an idiot, and we would have seen that replayed over and over again. We would have had stories, ‘Does Bush even run the administration?’ ‘Cause they thought Cheney was running it all along anyway. So now here’s Obama, apparently not fully up to speed on what’s happening with his own executive orders. He has to turn to Greg Craig, who once was a lawyer for Fidel Castro and Elian Gonzalez’s dad in Cuba.

Have you people seen the movie Blazing Saddles? Some of you youngsters out there may not have seen Blazing Saddles, it’s one of the funniest movies ever, it’s by Mel Brooks. You should go out there — I know some of you tightwads don’t buy movies — go out there and rent it. Mel Brooks plays a bunch of characters, and one of the characters he plays is Governor Le Petomane, and he’s an absolute idiot. He’s a figurehead. All he cares about is the showgirl in the back room and having some time with her after he finishes the so-called official duties. Harvey Korman plays Hedley Lamarr, the chief of staff who’s constantly throwing official papers in front of Governor Le Petomane to sign. He signs it, heads back to the showgirl. And, in fact, the movie — well, never mind. I’m not going to say more about it, but that’s what I thought I was watching. It’s his executive order. I still can’t get over this.

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RUSH: I want to go back and replay an audio sound bite. This is this morning in Washington, the Oval Office, President Obama signing an executive order calling for the closure of Club Gitmo within one year. Now, we will not have the chisel sounds. We’ve already chiseled this bite in marble, so you will not hear them here.

OBAMA: In order to effect the appropriate disposition of individuals currently detained by the Department of Defense at Guantanamo, uh, and promptly to close the detention facility at Guantanamo consistent with the national security and foreign policy interests of the United States and interests of justice, I hereby order. And we then we will then, uh, the process whereby Guantanamo will be closed no later than one year from now. We will be… Uhhh…. Umm…. Is there a separate executive order, Greg, with respect to how we’re going to dispose of the detainees? Is that it, eh, uh, what we’re doing?

CRAIG: We’ll set up a process!

OBAMA: We will be setting up a process, uh, whereby this is going to be taking place.

RUSH: Greg, is there going to be another executive order? What are you guys doing back there, did you write another executive order, or is this it? That’s Greg Craig, the White House counsel who represented the father of Elian Gonzalez and Fidel Castro of Cuba. Also represented Bill Clinton in the impeachment hearings. I didn’t play this to once again highlight Obama not knowing what’s going on with his own executive order. What I did was to illustrate it’s not very FDR-like, and I wanted to make mention of this for those in the Obama administration monitoring this program. What you did today, purely political, not oriented toward the security of this country. Do you people in New York feel safer now? I mean you may like your country a little more, but do you feel safer here? We’re going to close a prison for terrorists in the interests of national security and justice? (laughing) And the foreign policy interests of the United States. Anyway, FDR would not do this. Remember, FDR put Japanese citizens in the internment camps! He did what he had to do in time of war to protect this country. This is not FDR-like. And I had to make that observation.

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RUSH: Apparently, ladies and gentlemen, I was not the only one to notice that Obama’s executive orders that he signed today seemed to be executive orders he hadn’t seen yet. He’s asking Greg Craig, (paraphrasing) ‘What are we doing here, Greg?’ Greg Craig says, ‘Here’s what we’re doing,’ and Obama repeats it as though it’s his own words. This afternoon on Fox News Channel Jon Scott talked to Democrat strategist Bob Beckel about Obama’s signing of the executive orders today and the confusion with the media. Now, I don’t know what confusion with the media there was, because I wasn’t there, but here’s the question that Jon Scott asked: ‘If you were running the media show at the White House, would you call somebody on the carpet? I mean you want the president to look presidential, right?’

BECKEL: Yeah, I suspect that this is gonna lead to a discussion here with a few people. Look, for people who pulled off — just think about what they pulled off at the Democratic National Convention, I mean these are pros, and they’re gonna — they can’t make little mistakes, ’cause we’re going to talk about it. So I suspect that there’s going to be a few heads that are going to roll and I also suspect you’re not going to see many missteps after this.

RUSH: I’m not sure what he’s talking about here. I don’t know what the misstep with the media was, unless it is Obama not knowing what his executive orders said. But maybe media there was a media screw-up in there, maybe people didn’t get in there, I have no clue what this is about. I hope to find out. It was a media issue yesterday. This says it’s about the executive order. (interruption) Well, I know about that, the controversy yesterday was the White House released photos of the finger and Rahm Emanuel in the Oval Office, and the Drive-Bys are upset, they didn’t run the picture because they want their own photographers in there and they weren’t allowed in their to take their own. They had to run the White House picture. Of course the Drive-Bys, occasionally they’ll stand up for themselves, even when it’s Obama, ‘We’re not going to run your propaganda. We didn’t take the picture. It’s a White House picture. We want our own picture. We run the propaganda around here. We want our cameras in there to record the propaganda.’ Well, he cut his finger off, didn’t he, or do something? He cut his little finger off to show toughness or something. He cut it and didn’t get it looked at and it was getting ugly looking out there, had to go chop it off, in a show of great toughness. Yeah, like the Yakuza guys, like the Japanese Mafia. Exactly, Snerdley, exactly.

So I don’t think Beckel here is talking about — I think we still are the only ones talking about the fact that Obama had no idea what executive orders he was signing and what they said.

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RUSH: Now, the White House press briefing is still going on. Robert Gibbs, this is the first official press briefing, and this guy, by the way, the media sang this guy’s praises during the campaign. ‘This Robert Gibbs, whoa, he’s going to be the best secretary of the press that we’ve ever had up there, this guy knows his stuff, he knows what he’s doing.’ Here’s just a sample of what’s happened up there. Boiled down Q&A, Major Garrett of Fox News to Robert Gibbs. Question: ‘So if we capture Osama Bin Laden, we have to use only the Army Field Manual guidelines for interrogations? Because when he announced the closing of Gitmo today, the Army Field Manual will be the only source used for interrogations.’ Robert Gibbs, who is said to run rings around every other press secretary, said, well, let me check with Greg Craig for guidance on that for you. That’s a little bit of my pay grade. He didn’t say that, but here’s the thing about that. That is a great question. If, when we capture Osama Bin Laden, which Obama’s vowed to do, then where will we put him?

So many people wish they were me. So many people talking in my ear in the midst of brilliant analysis, forcing me to stop and make a point that was about to roll off my tongue anyway. Obama has said in the past that capturing Bin Laden was the only definition of success. However, after he won the election and during the transition, he said, (paraphrasing) ‘Well, he’s sorta disfigured out there, he’s not really that big a factor. Capturing him is no longer our definition of success.’ I mentioned that back when it happened, I did the sigh and the ho-hum and will any of the human beings disguised as amoebas understand it? Point is, if we have a chance to capture him, Snerdley, we’re going to. If some Meals on Wheels program in Afghanistan happened to run in to Osama, we’re going to capture him. Maybe the Meals on Wheels program won’t capture him, maybe the homeless outreach program — I don’t know. Whoever captures him, if we capture him, where are we going to try him? And where we going to put him? ‘Cause all this stuff is being shut down.

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RUSH: No, Snerdley, Robert Gibbs was not part of the Bee Gees. It was Gibb. It was Robin. It was Maurice and Barry Gibb. No S on there. They lived in Miami for a while, and they had a brother Andy who had a couple of hits. He unfortunately died. Gibb. This guy does not look like a Bee Gee. This is the best press secretary, this is the sharpest press secretary, this guy is going to run rings around McClellan, he’s going to run rings around Tony Snow, this guy is going to run rings around Dana Perino, this guy was sharp during the campaign. What about capturing Obama? ‘Oh, gotta consult with Greg on that.’

Here, folks, if you haven’t it heard I’m sorry to belabor this, grab sound bite 31. This sound bite is what has prevented me from getting to any other sound bites today. I think I’m the only one here who has caught this. I’m sure there will be others as the day goes on. This is Barack Obama, this is the president of the United States announcing his — capital H, capital I, capital S — his executive order this morning.

OBAMA: In order to effect the appropriate disposition of individuals currently detained by the Department of Defense at Guantanamo, uh, and promptly to close the detention facility at Guantanamo consistent with the national security and foreign policy interests of the United States and interests of justice, I hereby order. And we then we will then provide, uh, the process whereby Guantanamo will be closed no later than, uh, one year from now. We will be… Uhhh…. Ummm…. Is there a separate executive order, Greg, with respect to how we’re going to dispose of the detainees? Is that it, eh, uh, what we’re doing?

CRAIG: We’ll set up a process!

OBAMA: We will be setting up a process, uh, whereby this is going to be taking place.

RUSH: What am I supposed to do here? Am I supposed to pretend this isn’t happening, ‘Gee, I hope he figures this out and succeeds’? He’s reading his own executive order, and in the middle of it he stops to ask his lawyer, Greg Craig, who represented Castro and the father of Elian Gonzalez in Cuba, (doing Obama impression) ‘Greg, uh, how we gonna handle the detainees here, what are we going to do?’ ‘Oh, a process is going to be worked out,’ and then Obama repeats it as though nobody heard what Craig said. ‘We’ll have a process, process going to be worked out.’ The second executive order was basically the process, which was a ‘we don’t have a clue’ executive order. Well, you know, I think they probably think Greg Craig is so smart he could probably be Treasury secretary, and he’s paid his taxes. Look, play 32. It happened again. It happened again in the next sound bite with the next executive order. What am I supposed to do here?

OBAMA: What we’re doing here is to set up a special interagency task force on detainee disposition. They are going to provide me with information in terms of how we are able to deal in the disposition of some of the detainees that may be currently in Guantanamo that we cannot transfer to other countries, who could pose a serious danger to the United States, uh, but we cannot try because of various problems related to evidence, uh, in a Article 3 court. So this task force is going to provide us with, uh, a series of recommendations on that. Is that correct, Greg?

CRAIG: That’s right. And detainee policy going forward.

OBAMA: And detainee policy going forward so that we don’t find ourselves in these kinds of situations, uh, in the future.

CRAIG: And there is clear guidance for the military as well.

OBAMA: And that we are providing clear guidance to our military in terms of how to deal with it.

RUSH: I’m speechless. I’m just dumbfounded. Two executive orders in a row, he doesn’t know what’s in them, gotta turn to Craig Greg. Craig tells him and Obama repeats it as though nobody can hear it. See, I thought Obama was the editor of the Harvard Law Review. He’s supposed to be smarter than Greg Craig. He taught constitutional law up there at the University of Chicago, right next door to Bill Ayers. Yeah, you would think he’d be pretty good at this legal stuff. He’s an author. He wrote his own books. Ahem. He didn’t know what was in at least two of his executive orders today. What am I supposed to do? Am I not supposed to mention this? ‘Give him a chance, Rush. Wait ’til he really screws up. Give him a chance. We all want the country to succeed.’ Well, Obama’s policies succeeding do not mean success for the country, and that’s the bottom line. I want Obama’s policies to fail. That will equal success for the country. So, see, the process here, the process was always the issue, so they say they’re going to shut Guantanamo in a year, and they don’t tell us the process, cause they don’t have a plan!

I’ll believe they close it in a year when they do anyway. But doesn’t matter folks because I have adapted as the epitome of capitalism, the government has thrown me a curveball and I have adapted. I haven’t asked for a bailout, I haven’t gone to a lawyer, I haven’t filed suit. I have simply ordered my marketing managers of the EIB merchandise store to come up with a new line of Club Gitmo merchandise, a new logo, a swimming pool with a diving board — water and a board — and a new tag line on each piece of merchandise: ‘When America Was Safe.’ We’re working on that new merchandise line even now, a teachable moment.

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RUSH: Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the question and answer. It was Major Garrett, Fox News, talking with the new press secretary better than anybody’s ever done the job, Robert Gibbs.

GARRETT: Just so the American people have an understanding: if, for example, US Forces were to capture Osama Bin Laden or someone less well known but of operational significance, are they to understand, the American people, that the field manual only will be the interrogation method used to interrogate a target as valuable potentially as Osama Bin Laden, or someone of that operational significance?

GIBBS: Let me get some guidance from, uhhhhh, from Greg and members of the NSC.

RUSH: Translation: ‘I don’t know. They haven’t told me. Obama doesn’t know either. I gotta go ask Greg Craig. We’ll have Greg Craig get back to you on this.’ I mean, Obama didn’t even know. He had to ask Greg Craig during the ceremony. ‘What you are asking me for? How do you expect me to know if Obama didn’t know?’