RUSH: I thought maybe today, folks, I would use my opening monologue to explain why I’m going to postpone my opening monologue and turn the contents over to the Russians, so they can take my monologue and give it to people who might want to do things with it. But then I decided why should I go moderate like that? I’m not gonna postpone my monologue. So here we are.

Great to have you. Rush Limbaugh, the EIB Network. It’s already… This is Wednesday, right? This is unbelievable. Yeah, because Snerdley stayed in bed the past couple days. So it’s Wednesday. Well, that’s what he does on his days off. No, actually Snerdley was in Washington yesterday. He told me he had a great time in Washington last night. Snerdley’s back. Thanks to H.R. for doing a magnificent job of call screening.

You know, Snerdley, you shoulda seen this.

There were times I had two calls on hold yesterday! Some days, I don’t. I actually had two calls to choose from, something you could learn from. I’m sorry, folks, it’s just a little inside baseball here, because you know, the staff and me, we love each other. Actually, in their minds, I’m one of the staff. So when I talk about the “highly overrated staff,” they always think I’m talking about myself, too. It’s what allows me to get away with it.

What an historic speech last night! It’s probably the first time in history that a US president gave a speech about not doing something, unless you want to count all of Obama’s speeches about how he’s gonna fix the economy. ‘Cause those have been speeches about how he’s not gonna do anything, either. Do you realize what a laughingstock we are? I mean, I’ve tried to convey this the past couple days. I’m at a loss. I really am, folks.

You know me and words, but I’m at a loss to explain this. I mean, even the Drive-Bys saw it. This had to be so tough. AP, they fact checked this thing, dismal. The foreign press, of course, never holds anything back, and they’re right on the money, but even some of the domestic Drive-Bys are trying to… You know, their whole job is to position Obama in the best light possible, and they’re really finding this difficult to do, because it is. We’ve learned so much.

For example, from John Kerry, we’ve learned that size really does matter. After all these years — I’m 62 years old — I finally now learn that size matters. The day before yesterday John Kerry said the attack on Syria would be “unbelievably small,” and you know why he said that? Because his whole party is opposed to it. The anti-war left. I don’t know how they’re shutting ’em up. Well, I do. This is the United States of Whatever Obama Wants.

Not America.

So to the Democrat Party and the anti-war left and the American left, it’s all about, “How can we protect Obama?” Because the one thing they do really well is they circle the wagons. When any of them — Dan Rather, you name it, when any liberal — is engaged in activity that is highly embarrassing and is going to reflect poorly on the movement, they circle the wagons and they prop up that failure, and they elevate that failure.

Sometimes they’ll throw the failure overboard and then bring ’em back, but they will not allow their movement to take a hit. I don’t know how they did it, but they muzzled the Congressional Black Caucasians. I mean, there’s not a one of those people that wants to fire any weapons in the Middle East, for whatever reason. Nerve gas? Do you know what was the magic word last night? “Children.” “Children.” (interruption) What disappeared? (interruption) Iran disappeared? Yeah. Iran did. Yeah, it was strange.

What do you call it when you float something out there? I guess that was a trial balloon. Iran was a trial balloon, and it didn’t work, so they’re back to “the children.” Obama was saying that and “pinprick.” Did you watch the speech? Did you? (interruption) He sat there, and because Kerry had said (as we learn that size matters) the day before yesterday that the attack on Syria would be “unbelievably small.

That was to placate the anti-war left who didn’t want any kind of attack.

So Kerry said, “No, no, no! It’s not gonna be any big deal. It’s going to be very, very, unbelievably small,” and then last night Obama said the attack on Syria would not be “a pinprick,” and he was trying to sound really tough, and he said the United States military “doesn’t do pinpricks.” What he tried to say was, when the US military hits you, you know it. It doesn’t matter how about the attack. We don’t do pinpricks.

He was undercutting his own secretary of state, whose gaffe bailed him out of the mess and gave him a solution, which is a disaster, because you know what’s happening to these chemical weapons? What are the odds…? Because this deal’s falling apart. Putin and the Syrians say, “Wait a minute! We never agreed to going in there and counting these things and putting them somewhere around international guard. We just said that Bashar was gonna get rid of ’em. Where do you think these weapons are going?”

Look, I hate to be a cynic, but with these people it’s practically impossible, and I would wager, seriously, that whatever chemical weapons that Bashar Assad might have are now on their way to Hezbollah. They’re just being moved off site, but to a Syrian ally. We have no way of finding out where they go. We’ve got no way of knowing. We haven’t got any confirmation of the “contents,” if you will, of Bashar’s arsenal.

These guys just don’t give away their weapons.

They’ll say they’re gonna give away their weapons, but these are bad people.

These are liars. Bashar’s got allies. He’ll send ’em down to Hezbollah. The Russians might even provide the transportation. Meanwhile, we’re all here happy as clams, giving ourselves pats on the back, giving speeches about what we’re not going to do — and that even if we did it, it wouldn’t be a pinprick. I just sit here and I literally don’t have the words to describe the various ways in which this regime is being perceived.